Working with Adam
by TRUMAN'S SHELL
Summary: Follow up to: To Prove a Point. Jax starts working with Adam and things really don't go her way. Warning: Spanking
1. Chapter 1

**You Promised:**

Jax ran down the stairs at full steam. She was wearing Joe's old clothes and felt for the first time in her life that her father would let her get away with it. It was her first day at work and she knew working with Adam she really couldn't wear a dress.

"Jacqueline, I don't care if you're working this ranch or not, you will dress appropriately," Ben said not looking up from his breakfast.

"But Pa…"

"This can be over before it begins, young lady."

"Yes sir," Jax said reluctantly and walked slowly up the stairs running into her twin on the way.

"Told ya so," Joe teased.

"Shut up," Jax said and pushed her brother slightly for the jab.

Ben smiled at the pouting form. He still wasn't sure of his decision, but Adam assured him that he would keep Jax safe. Ben wanted Adam to prove to the girl that this wasn't the life that she wanted to live, but he knew Jax was too stubborn to ever admit it. Finally he relented and told Adam to follow his normal routine.

Jax was back down five minutes later still full of smiles. Sure the switching and eight days worth of bedtime spankings had sucked, but her leaving the ranch and working for two months at the O'Kelly Ranch with Billy had proved that she could do anything that the boys could so it was totally worth it.

"You need to hurry up. We have to get down to the lumber camp," Adam snapped. He decided that he wasn't going to treat her any different than he would any foreman on the ranch. The kid really should have to work her way up like he did, but there was too much danger in both his and his father's opinions.

"I just sat down," Jax argued.

"Don't care. We have a hard day of work ahead of us."

"You don't have to get snippy."

"And you don't have to go with me, Jacqueline. Right now you're a cow hand, just like you were on the O'Kelly Ranch. Don't expect special treatment because you're a girl or my sister," Adam said angrily.

"Fine," Jax said getting up from the table and grabbing a couple of pancakes to go.

Jax followed her older brother out to the barn and tried not to smile at Hoss who was nice enough to saddle Miss Lily for her.

"Thanks Hoss," Jax said giving her big brother a hug.

Billy came up a few seconds later, smiling from ear to ear. He gave her a big hug and said,

"Are you ready for this?"

"Yep. Listen to Hoss and take care of Joe, OK?" Jax said smiling.

"I will, promise," Billy said as Joe walked in.

"What do you promise?" Joe asked.

"To keep you safe," Billy said getting a push from his friend.

"Alright you three stop yapping and let's to work," Hoss said.

Jax jumped on Miss Lily still smiling. She was going to enjoy her day no matter how hard it was.

Adam still didn't know if this was a good idea, but knew this was the only way to appease Jax's need to prove herself. But he loved spending time with his pigheaded little sister and to be honest he missed her terribly while she was gone. He would never chance that again. His biggest fear was that Jax wouldn't listen to him. His little sister tended to take on more than she could chew more days than not. What they did on the ranch was dangerous and Jax really didn't believe anything was dangerous.

They rode in silence for the first fifteen minutes. Finally Adam looked over at the smiling form and said,

"Jax, I need you to listen to me today."

"I will," Jax said offhandedly.

"No Jacqueline, I mean really listen. These guys aren't used to having a little…"

"I'm not a little girl, Adam. Today, I'm just like everyone else."

"I hate to break it to you sis, but you're a little girl."

"Adam, why are you trying to aggravate me this morning? I know I'm a girl. I know they are going to treat me different, but they're going to treat Joe different today too. It has something to do with our last name and the fact that our Pa owns the place. I also know you were probably down here yesterday threatening their jobs if they didn't mind their manners and let me do more than you think I can."

Adam smiled because that was exactly what he did at the end of the day yesterday. He knew he couldn't be there every second of the day and if he wasn't careful Jax was going to try and do something stupid. He promised his Pa that nothing would happen to her and he wouldn't allow it.

"Your smile tells me I'm right. So who's my babysitter?" Jax asked in annoyance.

"Charlie."

'Great, the one person who I can't manipulate,' Jax thought. The man was older than Adam and had known her since she was six. He was kind of like a third older brother.

"Take it you're not happy? I thought you liked Charlie."

"I do like Charlie, but I don't really need a babysitter."

"Everyman out there has a handler the first few weeks. Like I said I'm not treating you any different."

"Except everyman out there is expected to do everything, while I'm expected to do only what you think I can."

"Jax, I really don't want to argue."

"And I really want you to trust my abilities. Let me show you what I can do," Jax begged.

"Slowly."

"Fine."

"Jax, cut the attitude. I really don't want to have to spank you in front of everyone."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me," Adam warned.

Jax decided that she wasn't going to try him, not because she was afraid of the whipping, she wouldn't be able to handle the humiliation of being tanned in front of her new coworkers.

They finally made it to the lumber camp and Charlie walked over to help Jax off her horse.

"I don't need your help," Jax snapped.

"Jacqueline," Adam warned softly.

"I thought I wasn't going to be treated any different. I can't see Charlie helping Joe off a horse," Jax whispered fiercely.

Adam almost smiled at that because she was absolutely right, but he still wasn't letting her get away with it.

"That's one, Jacqueline. Let me get to three today and we'll find a nice place to chat. Got it?"

"Yes sir," Jax said trying to keep her temper in check.

"Good. Charlie will please take her down and show her how things run. I have to go and see how the boys are doing with Peterson Contract."

"No problem. Come on Jax, let's go check out how things are done around here," Charlie said brightly.

Jax smiled loving that Charlie was actually happy for her. Maybe having him as a babysitter wouldn't be that bad. They walked down the hill together and Jax gasped. Sure she had been to the lumber camp before but she'd never been allowed to go farther than the work shed because Adam and Ben wouldn't allow it. There were logs in the water and horses were dragging lumber up to the saw mill.

"Ok, so here's how it goes. The trees are cut, brought down here, we skin them and we cut them into boards."

"So what am I going to do today?"

"Keep a tally of how many logs go through the mill."

"No really, what am I going to do?"

"Tally the number of logs that go through the mill. It's usually my job, but I thought I'd give you a chance," Charlie said smiling brightly.

"This is Adam. I can do more than count," Jax snapped.

"Jax, keeping track is extremely important."

"I know that, but Pa would have let me do this before I took off."

"Adam wants you to start slow."

"Adam wants to treat me like a helpless little girl and I'm not putting up with it," Jax said angrily getting up and walking towards the door.

"Jax, stop," Charlie said grabbing the little girl's arm.

"No Charlie, Adam is being well Adam."

"Look kiddo, I promise I'll go to bat for you, but we have to do this Adam's way. You're right Adam is just being Adam. He loves his little sister and won't let anything happen to you. So please do the job he set for you today," Charlie said knowing the little girl for most of his life if he didn't calm her down right now she would do something completely stupid.

"Fine, but tomorrow I better get to do something more exciting than counting wood."

"Well, it'll probably be more like next week," Charlie admitted.

"My brother really sucks and I'm betting arguing isn't going to help."

"Nope, he said that he would fire you. You're not his sister at work, you're his employee, so you have to do what you're told," Charlie said reasonably.

"Fine, but can you show me other things too?" Jax asked.

"Sure. How about I show you how the mill works? You can count and learn at the same time."

Adam showed up six hours later and smiled at his little sister whose head was in a book.

"How'd she do?" Adam asked.

"Great. She listened to every word I said and was able to keep up with the inventory."

"No arguing."

"Nope," Charlie said with a smile.

"Come on Jax, time to head home."

Jax decided she wasn't talking to Adam, because she was still too angry. She couldn't believe that he didn't trust her and that he gave her such a cushy job. There was more that she could do. Sure she might not be able to saw down a tree, but she could run the horses or run the mill. Sitting on her butt all day wasn't what she was looking for.

"How many planks were we able to make today?" Adam asked not liking the silence.

"Enough. I'll put it in the ledger when I get home. It's my job, not yours," Jax said testily.

"Yes, but I'm you supervisor."

"Then you can check my work the second I put it in."

"Come on Jax, I know you're not happy…"

"Adam, you said you would give me a chance and you made me a glorified bookkeeper. That's not what I want and you know it. If you're so worried that I'll get hurt keep me with you."

"What I was doing today was too dangerous. You said you wanted to learn all aspects of this ranch and bookkeeping is part of it."

"How many first day hires do you trust with the books?" Jax challenged.

"None, but then again not many first day hires are Cartwrights?" Adam challenged back.

"I don't want to be a bookkeeper. I want to be a rancher."

"And being a bookkeeper is part of being a rancher."

"Do you promise to let me have chances to do other things?"

"Slowly," Adam said reluctantly.

Jax spurred her horse ahead, not wanting to talk to Adam anymore. Adam decided to let her go. The one thing about Jax was that it was better to let things go when she was angry.

Jax rode into the barn and found Billy and Joe joking and smiling. Billy looked at her scowl and asked,

"Adam made you do something stupid didn't he?"

"Yeah, I had to watch lumber being cut and count it. A monkey could do it," Jax pouted. "He doesn't trust me."

"It isn't that he doesn't trust you Jax, he wants to break you in slowly," Hoss tried knowing dinner was going to be awful if he didn't calm his sister down.

"Joe, what did you do today?" Jax asked ignoring Hoss altogether.

"We moved cattle from the north pasture to the west pasture so that we can fix the fence tomorrow."

"You've moved cattle before, so…" Billy tried.

"Billy, don't defend Adam. He's doing this on purpose," Jax said.

"Ok Jax," Billy said. "I gotta head home. See ya tomorrow."

"Bye Billy," Jax and Joe said as Adam rode into the barn.

"I have chores to do," Jax said walking away not giving Adam a chance to talk to her.

"What did she say?" Adam asked.

"That you aren't giving her a chance. You promised Adam," Joe said angrily.

"This is between me and Jax, Joseph, so keep out of it."

Joe just walked away wanting to find his sister. Jax was sitting by the well looking miserable. He sat down next to her and said,

"I'm sorry."

"I'm going to have to prove myself again," Jax said angrily.

"Give it a few days before you do something about it. OK?"

"Alright, but when I do, will you please help me?" Jax asked.

"Of course I will," Joe said with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**I Quit:**

Jax sat in the mill keeping the books for the fifth day in a row steaming. Today Adam was with her instead of Charlie. He was honestly sick of the silent treatment and he hoped sitting there all day would break the streak. Jax didn't like silence, but after four hours his hopes were dashed. Finally, he decided to say something.

"Jax, quit pouting."

"I'm not pouting, I'm working," Jax said not bothering to look up from her books.

"I get that, but the silent treatment isn't going to change my mind. You'll get to do something new next week I promise," Adam pleaded.

"Yeah right, like you promised to train me," Jax said sounding hurt.

"I am training you."

"No your not, if you were I wouldn't be sitting here doing a job a monkey could do."

Adam had to smile at that.

"How about next week you count how many trees are cut down?"

"How about next week I cut a tree down?" Jax tried giving him a smile.

"You're not even close to doing that yet."

"Meaning, I'm never going to do that."

"Jax, I didn't say that. Would you please be reasonable about this?"

"You be reasonable, Adam. I…" Jax started but decided to turn away from her brother when another batch of wood came in.

"You what?"

"Nothing. I have to finish my work, so maybe just maybe my older brother will think I'm worth something," Jax said looking down.

"Jax, you are worth more to me than anything on this ranch."

"Then why don't you trust that I'll listen to you and why won't you give me a chance."

"Because I'm afraid you won't listen in a dangerous situation," Adam admitted.

"But I will listen."

"I don't think you will," Adam said gently.

"So are you going to give me a chance?"

"Yes, at my own pace and as long as you do as I say. Jax, you have to understand that as a little girl I'm not going to allow…"

"I QUIT," Jax said throwing the clipboard at her brother, running out of the mill, and jumping on her horse racing her out of the lumber camp. Adam knew better than to bring up the girl aspect.

"Jax, stop," Adam said looked around the yard and was happy to see Charlie standing there. "Charlie, I need you to take over."

Charlie had seen Jax run out of the mill with tears in her eyes. So he ran up the stairs to take over.

Adam was on his horse a few seconds later. He had a feeling that his sister wasn't going home and this was his fault.

"JACQUELINE ANNE-MARIE STOP RIGHT NOW!" Adam yelled the second he was in hearing distance.

Jax decided to slow down so she could shout back,

"Sorry you're not my employer anymore, so I really don't have to listen to you."

"I'm your brother and I promise if you don't stop you'll be over my knee the second I catch up to you."

Jax slowed her horse so Adam could catch up. He rode alongside her and said,

"You can't quit."

Jax just rode without looking at him.

"Jax, I'm talking to you."

Jax looked over at him with hurt and anger in her brown eyes.

"I realize that, Adam. I'm just not answering you, because you have nothing to say that interests me."

"Jax, quit."

"Already did," Jax said angrily.

"Girl, you are asking for it."

"Why? Because you lied to me, because you don't believe in me, or because you don't want me to succeed?" Jax asked.

"I didn't lie, I do believe in you and you know I want you to succeed."

"Prove it."

"How? What do you want from me?"

"Show me how to do your job or at least show me how I can be a vital part of this ranch," Jax said tearing up.

"Jax, I'll give you a chance."

"When?"

"When I think you're ready."

"But I'm really never going to be ready in your eyes am I," Jax said turning away letting the tears fall.

"Please stop so we can talk."

"I just want to go home and honestly I don't want to talk to you," Jax said.

"Are you going home?" Adam asked with concern.

"I'll be home before you, but I need to stop somewhere first."

"Alright," Adam said deciding to let her go.

Jax rode the two hours back to the ranch, tears falling most of the way. She hated arguing with Adam, she loved her brother more than anything and it killed her that he didn't trust her. She finally stopped, sat down by her mother's grave and sobbed.

Adam watched from a distance and his heart broke for his little sister. He needed to change something or he really was going to lose her. He knew better than to walk over there right now so he decided to talk to Little Joe and Hoss, more days than not she would listen to at least one of her brothers.

Jax walked into the house a little over two hours later.

"Early day?" Ben asked looking up from his book.

"No sir. I'm no longer working on your ranch," Jax said walking up to her room.

Ben sat there for a few minutes before deciding to talk to his daughter. He walked up the stairs and saw his daughter looking out the window. He could tell that she had cried most of the afternoon.

"Jax?"

"Pa, would you please leave me alone. I really don't want to talk about it."

"Sweetheart, I want to know what's bothering you."

"Pa, please don't make me talk about it."

Ben sat down on her bed and asked,

"What did you mean when you said you were no longer working this ranch?"

"I quit," Jax said with a shrug.

"Why?"

"Because your son doesn't believe in me."

"Adam believes in you."

"Believes that I know how to count and keep inventory. Adam wants me to be a glorified bookkeeper and I want to work. We couldn't come up with a compromise, so I quit."

"Jax, we're just being cautious."

"Are you being cautious with Joe and Billy? My bet is no."

"It's different."

"No it isn't. I proved that last month or at least I thought I did."

"So you're quitting is going to accomplish what?"

"Nothing. But working was doing the same, so why bother?"

Ben sighed and determined that there was no getting through to his daughter tonight, he would try again tomorrow. He walked over and dropped a kiss on the top of her head and walked out of the room.

Adam walked into the barn and was glad to see Little Joe and Billy getting off their horses.

"Where's Jax?" Joe asked.

"In the house," Adam said.

"What did you do to her?" Joe demanded.

"Don't take that tone with me. I've had enough of my younger siblings thinking they can disrespect me," Adam said harshly landing a hard swat that made Joe yelp.

"Fine, will you please tell me what you did to my sister? If she was fine, she would be out here talking to us, not being wherever she is right now," Joe said through gritted teeth trying to keep his temper.

"She quit."

"After everything we went through she quit?" Billy asked in amazement. "Jax wanted this more than anything. Why would she quit?"

"She doesn't think I trust her," Adam admitted.

"Because you don't. She's told me what you've allowed her to do and Pa would've let her do that before she left. He probably would've let us do that when we were little if he didn't have the money for workers. She wants to be out in the action, she wants to follow you around and see what it is you do all day. Why won't you give her that chance?" Joe asked angrily.

"What if something happens to her?"

"Something could happen in the mill too," Hoss said deciding to help his little sister out. "The saw could break…"

"Don't give him ideas Hoss, or he won't even let her leave her room. Jax isn't a piece of China, Adam. She's tougher than you, me, and Hoss put together. She has to be," Joe said and stormed out of the barn.

Billy decided to put his two cents in and said,

"Jax is amazing. You should've seen everything she could do on the O'Kelly Ranch. Just give her a chance and you'll wonder why you didn't beforehand."

"Thanks Billy," Adam said and watched as the boy rode off the Ponderosa.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Joe ran into the house and was stopped by his father's quick chastisement,

"Did you wash up young man?"

"I need to check on Jax first."

"She can wait. Wash up before you walk into this house."

Joe groaned and walked out to the washhouse and cleaned up in record time. He ran back into the house and asked,

"Jax upstairs?"

"Don't push her Joseph."

"I won't."

Joe tapped on his sister's door before opening it.

"Ok, what did old granite head do today?"

"Nothing, he's never going to let me do this, Joe."

"Jax, come and sit with me," Joe said sitting on his sister's bed.

Jax walked over looking miserable.

"You really quit? After everything you went through?"

"Yep. I plan on job hunting tomorrow," Jax said giving her brother a slight smile.

"Like Pa's gonna let you do that," Joe said smiling back.

"So what should I do?"

"Whatever you do I'll be there so will Billy."

"Before Adam decided to take over babysitting duties, Charlie showed me a couple of things, maybe…"

There was another tap on the door that interrupted their conversation.

"Hey, pumpkin," Hoss said walking in.

"Hoss, can I come and work with you?"

"I'd hire you in a second, but Pa said no and Adam said…"

"I don't care what Adam said," Jax said angrily.

"Give Adam a break," Hoss said.

"Why should I? I'm not asking for the moon, I'm asking him to do what he promised."

"He is showing you how to do his job," Hoss said.

"He's showing me the boring part of his job. I heard the men talking, there was a problem with one of the riggings and Adam had to design something to help fix it. I can do that Hoss."

"But while he was designing it, it was extremely dangerous up on the hill. Adam wouldn't have been able to concentrate if you were there."

"Why? Charlie would've watched me and I promised…"

"Pumpkin, there are times when you break your promises too.

"I know that Hoss, but you know how important this is to me, so I won't. Why doesn't Adam understand how important this is to me?"

"Jax, you have to talk to Adam," Hoss said.

"Why so we can fight?"

"No so you can compromise. You can't expect him to let you pick up a saw and get to work, just like he can't expect you to stay in that mill counting all day."

"Do you think he'll compromise?" Jax asked with hope.

"I think so. Just keep this in mind Jax, you're his baby sister and he will always worry about you, but he'll fight for you too. He was the one who convinced Pa to give you a chance in the first place."

"Ok, I'll talk to him," Jax said giving Hoss a weak smile.

"Good. Can I send him up?" Hoss asked.

"Ok."

"Come on Little Joe let's go play some checkers."

Joe squeezed his sister's hand and whispered,

"I'll talk to you later."

"K."

Adam walked in a few minutes later and sighed.

"First, I do trust you Jax."

"Prove it."

"Alright, tomorrow you ride the ridge with me, but I warn you Jax if you don't listen once I'll turn you over my knee and you're back in the mill for a month."

Jax smiled brightly and gave him a huge hug. Adam hugged her back before he landed a hard swat which make Jax yelp and ask,

"What was that for?"

"The way you talked to me earlier. You know better," Adam said giving her another hug.

"Come on some of it was funny," Jax said smiling.

"Yep, but you still deserved that swat."

"You wouldn't be Adam if you didn't think that," Jax said smiling brightly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Logging Terms: A "bucker" someone who cut trees into manageable pieces after they'd been chopped down by the "faller," while the "whistle punk" runs messages up and down the log flume. (History Channel)**

**Picking Things Up**

Joe ran into his sister's room to make sure she was ok after her talk with Adam.

"So is he really going to let you try?"

"I guess so, but you never know. I have an idea if not."

"And what's that?" Joe asked smiling.

"If we do it, I'll need your and Billy's help and we'll probably get in trouble."

"You know Billy's up for anything and so am I."

"I wanna give Adam one more chance first."

"Sounds good, because that switch hurt like heck," Joe said rubbing his butt for effect.

"Hey you had it easy. I got eight after a hand spanking," Jax said giving her brother a push.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Adam sighed deeply as he walked over to his father's desk and sat in the chair wearily. His father wasn't going to like this one bit.

"I'm taking Jax on the ridge with me tomorrow."

"No," Ben said without looking up from his books.

"Pa, we have to give her a chance or she's going to do something we might regret."

"Adam, we discussed it. I don't want to take a chance of something happening to her. She's just a little girl."

"Pa, Jax's determined to try, so I'll have her picking up scraps with Tommy tomorrow."

"That's still too dangerous."

"I can't keep her in that mill or she'll do something on her own that will get her hurt."

"I'm not happy about it, but I agree that your sister will do anything to prove a point."

Jax woke up the next morning with new hope. She smiled brightly as she got up and ran down the stairs.

"Slow down," Ben admonished.

"Sorry, Pa," Jax said giving him a huge smile.

Joe was down a few seconds later and hoped Adam didn't crush her dreams again today. Jax deserved this chance.

Adam walked into the dining room and sighed. He didn't want to take her up that mountain there were way too many things that could go wrong, but he also didn't want her to do something stupid and for some reason stupid and Jax's reasoning seemed to go together more days than not.

Before they left the barn Adam looked Jax directly in the eye and said.

"Where we're going today is extremely dangerous. I'm trusting you to listen to every word I say."

"I will Adam promise."

"Jacqueline, I mean it."

"OK, quit worrying so much. I was able to handle myself for two months without you breathing down my neck. So what do I get to do today?"

"You're working with Tommy. Our wood supply at home needs to be refilled. Tommy usually picks up the kindling and small logs."

"Tommy's nine!" Jax complained.

"And you're fourteen. What does age have to do with it? I promised to take you on the ridge with me nothing more."

"Why won't you let me be a whistle punk?"

"You're not running back and forth between the camp and ridge too many things can happen," Adam said.

"Adam, I pick up kindling at home," Jax said trying not to whine.

"I told you that you were starting off slow. Tommy is too."

"If you know what's good for you, this better only be for a day or two," Jax snapped.

Adam had had enough and pulled his horse reaching over to do the same to Jax's.

"Off," Adam said.

"What? I didn't do anything wrong. You're the one being unreasonable, not me."

"Your attitude, tone, and utter disrespect…"

"All you're doing is disrespecting me! I'm not doing anything wrong and you know it. You just hate admitting your wrong, so you're going to tan me to prove what? That you're bigger than me or that you have control over me?"

Adam didn't say a word he just grabbed his sister off the horse dragged her over to a stump, turned her over his knee, and threw her petticoats and dress over her head. His hand dropped hard, he was only going to give her twenty good swats, just a reminder to keep her attitude in check. Once he was finished he tried to pull Jax into a hug, but his sister just pushed him away and wiped her eyes angrily.

"Jax…"

Jax got up, straightened her dress angrily, and walked over to her horse not saying a word. She eased herself down gently and spurred Miss Lily forward.

Adam sighed and got on his horse quickly to catch up. He guessed he was getting the silent treatment again and that he was in her bad books again, but she deserved it. Her disrespect was getting out of control.

"Jax…"

"We're late for work, sir."

"Jax, you deserved that spanking because of your tone and disrespect."

"Yes sir."

"Pout all you want, but listen hard little sister. Tommy is in charge and you're going to listen to him. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir."

Jax rode ahead wiping tears the rest of the way to the camp. Her butt hurt and her pride was just as injured. Adam was never going to let her do this. When they reached the camp she walked over to Tommy and said as brightly as she could,

"I guess you're going to have help today."

"Why? Is your Pa mad at you or something?" Tommy asked. His Pa only made his sisters pick up kindling when they were bad. He hated his job here, but they needed the money. Adam said it was the only thing he could do to earn money, so he did it.

"Nope, I'm supposed to be learning how to run a timber camp," Jax said honestly.

"Man they're starting you from the bottom up," Tommy said giving her a smile.

"No, they're going to keep me at the bottom, so your job has just gotten a lot easier."

"I'm not going to lose it, am I? My Pa will tan my hide if I get fired because we really need the money," Tommy said panicking.

"No, you're job's safe. I won't let Adam fire you, I promise."

"Thanks Jax."

"Plus if I get my way, I'll do something different tomorrow. Do you want to help me?"

"With what? My Pa is one of the buckers so he's right over the hill and I don't need any trouble with him or Mr. Cartwright."

"My Pa is at…"

"Your brother is Mr. Cartwright too," Tommy said with a smile.

"It's funny to think of Adam that way. So what do we have to do?"

"Easy grab a bucket and the second the tree goes down the flume we start cleaning up."

"Wow, you're going to make a great boss today," Jax said smiling at the nine year old.

For three hours they played cleanup and finally Jax saw her chance. She saw the saw just sitting there.

"Isn't that log a little big?" Jax said smiling at Tommy.

"NO! Mr. Cartwright said to leave the equipment alone."

"It's just a saw."

"Jax, that saw is bigger than you and me. It needs two people to use and is really really heavy."

"How do you know it's heavy?"

"When I'm older I want to be a bucker like my Pa and he's showed me some of the things he uses."

"So you need to practice, right?"

"Jax, I can't lose my job."

"Trust me it's going to be fine. Look we'll just cut that log before anyone notices."

"This is a bad idea."

"I'll take the heat. Come on Tommy, live a little."

"Are you sure I won't lose my job?"

"I promise Tommy. I would never chance you losing your job," Jax said.

Tommy walked over with Jax and picked up the saw. Both stumbled under the weight of it walking towards the large log, put the saw on the log and started to cut. It was a lot harder than Jax thought it would be. They were both huffing and puffing by the time the log was cut in two.

"Wow, that was hard," Jax said smiling.

"No wonder my Pa's arms are so big," Tommy said smiling, saw still in hand. He dropped it the second he heard a man's voice bellow,

"Thomas Patrick, get your butt over here right now."

"Pa…" Tommy started with a look of horror on his face. His father was going to kill him. He had one job today, keep Jax out of trouble and he let her lead him right into it.

"Mr. Gallagher, Tommy was just keeping me safe. I was going to…"

"Girly, I know for a fact that log was twice the size and you both cut it," Patrick Gallagher said angrily grabbing his son's arm. "I didn't have time to take care of it before we sent the last log down the flume. These cuts are made by inexperienced children, not a professional bucker."

"Sir, it was my idea. Tommy tried to stop me more than once…"

"Thomas what was your job today?"

"Keep Jax safe," Tommy said looking down.

"Did you do that job?"

"No sir. I let…"

"Look Mr. Gallagher, this is my fault. I'm not going to let a nine year old tell me what to do. If he wouldn't have helped me I would have done it by myself, so Tommy was keeping me safe by helping me."

"Thomas, go cut…"

"Please Mr. Gallagher, don't punish Tommy for what I did. He tried everything to stop me."

"Thomas…"

"Yes sir," Tommy said walking over to a tree and cutting his father a switch. He prayed that his father would send Jax away. He didn't want to get a spanking in front of a girl. He always cried and didn't want to cry in front of her.

"I'm not letting you beat him for something I did! I swear if you tan him I'll…"

"You'll what Jacqueline," Adam said riding over the hill. When Patrick Gallagher didn't come right back after he asked the man to check on the children, he knew something was wrong and needed to check on her.

"I'll make sure my Pa fires you," Jax said with fire in her eyes.

"Why is Tommy getting a tanning?" Adam asked. He felt sorry for the little boy holding a switch knowing no matter what the outcome was he was going to feel its sting.

"Because I made him cut a log with me. It was my idea, I told him I would do it without him, and I promised nothing would happen. Tommy was doing his job. I would've gotten hurt if I tried to pick up that saw on my own."

"Tommy could've came and got one of us," Adam said.

"Then I would've hurried up to do it. This is my fault not Tommy's," Jax argued as she walked over and took the switch out of the little boy's hand.

"JAX, NO!" Tommy begged. There was no way he was letting a girl take his whipping. He was supposed to keep her safe and he let her break the rules.

"Be quiet Tommy," Jax said harshly handing Mr. Gallagher the switch. "If you need to hit someone for this let it be me. Tommy didn't do anything wrong, I did."

"Jacqueline, stand with your nose on that tree. Thomas, use that one," Adam said pointing to two separate trees. Both children followed his orders without complaint.

Adam got off Sport and walked over to Patrick.

"They'll stay there will you please follow me for a second?"

Patrick sighed and followed his boss. His son deserved a tanning for disobeying him, but he had a feeling that his boss felt otherwise.

"Look Patrick, I know we gave Tommy specific orders regarding Jax, but she can talk a saint into sinning," Adam said with a smile.

"Thomas was told to get one of us no matter what."

"I know, but that would mean leaving Jax with a sharp object that the foolish girl would've tried to use on her own. What if he couldn't find us in time?"

"Fine, the boy will get two stripes for not coming afterwards."

"That sounds fair. I know it will embarrass Tommy, but I would like Jax to witness it and I will give her the rest of Tommy's punishment."

"Thomas Patrick," Patrick said as they walked back up. Tommy walked over his eyes begging his father to take him somewhere else.

"Turn around," Patrick said grabbing his son's arm.

"Mr. Gallagher NO!" Jax screamed from her tree as she heard the swish of the switch and Tommy's yelp.

"How many did I promise you, Thomas?"

"Nine sir," Tommy said. Jax could hear the tears in his voice.

"You're only getting one more, because Jax is going to take the rest."

"No Pa, she's a girl," Tommy said forgetting the switch was coming and forgot to steel himself for the hit. The second swat had him in tears.

"Come on son," Patrick said handing the switch to Adam before putting a comforting arm around his son. Like most parents he did not enjoy punishing his child.

Adam waited until Patrick and Tommy were gone before saying harshly,

"Jacqueline Anne-Marie, get your bottom over here right now."

Jax came over looking angrier than a swarm of bees. She couldn't believe Adam allowed that man to use a switch on a nine year old for something she did. Adam knew it was her fault and not Tommy's, why didn't he stop it.

"I can't believe you let Mr. Gallagher whip Tommy! It was my fault, Tommy didn't want to do it but I gave him no choice! It wasn't fair."

"Jacqueline, I told you this morning to stay out of trouble and to listen to Tommy, but did you? That would be no. You're right it isn't fair that Tommy got two stripes with the switch, because of what you wanted to do, but he was told yesterday that watching you was part of his job and if he didn't keep you safe he would get nine with the switch."

"NOTHING HAPPENED, we just cut a stupid piece of wood. No one was hurt and we were able to do it. So what is the problem?"

"The problem is that was not your job today, if the blade would have slipped you both could've been killed."

"Adam, I don't know how many times I have to tell you and Pa that if I don't get hurt I shouldn't get punished for it!"

"I'm finished arguing with you. You're getting Tommy's seven and when we get home tonight you get to tell Pa what happened here," Adam said picking up the switch.

Jax walked over and waited for Adam to grab her arm. She was too angry to worry about the sting of the switch. What happened to Tommy wasn't fair and honestly she didn't do anything wrong. All this proved was that Adam still didn't believe in her. That's when the first stripe fell and she yelped. She hated that switch more than anything. She knew by stripe number seven she would want to be held by her brother and want to cry out the pain, but she wasn't wrong and she wasn't going to let her brother hold her no matter how much she wanted the love and affection after a hard thrashing. Jax was right at stripe number sever she was a sobbing mess. Adam tried to pull her into a hug but she just pushed away.

"Jax, I love you. Please stop putting yourself in danger."

Jax just walked over to the closest tree leaned against it and sobbed, breaking Adam's heart. It took over fifteen minutes for Jax to get herself together. She walked back over to her bucket and got back to work not saying another word to her brother.

Adam sighed and walked away. Tommy walked up a few minutes later.

"I'm sorry Jax," Tommy said.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who's sorry. Your Pa shouldn't have whipped you for listening to me."

"Did Adam really give you seven with the switch?" Tommy asked.

"Yep."

"Girls shouldn't get the switch…"

"Tommy, if you value your life I wouldn't ever say a girl is any different than a boy. That's what I'm trying to prove up here. So you're going to have a hell of a job keeping me on track, because if it kills me I'm going to prove to my brother that I can do every job on this ridge and that he was an idiot for not letting me do it sooner."

"Jax, I'll lose…"

"Don't worry Tommy, I won't ever let you get into trouble for something I did again. Just make sure you run to Adam when I tell you I'm going to do something."

"But Jax…"

"Don't worry so much," Jax said giving him a smile.

Tommy just shook his head.

Tommy and Jax worked the rest of the day. Tommy wisely keeping his mouth closed about what he thought about Jax's thinking.

Adam walked over to his sister at the end of the day and said,

"Time to go."

Jax got on her horse gently without bothering to look at her brother. She wasn't looking forward to telling her father what happened on the ridge today, but she was going to do it with her head held high. She was able to do a bucker's job, sure it was only one piece of wood and if she had to do a pile full there was no way she could do it right now, but with time she could be a bucker if she wanted to.

Ben breathed a sigh of relief when Jax and Adam rode into the yard. It seemed they were still at odds. Ben honestly didn't know which child was more stubborn, his eldest or youngest.

"Go tell Pa what you did."

"Can I do my chores first, please? I don't think Joe should get punished for what I did," Jax said glaring at her older brother.

Adam thought about it and said,

"The second you're finished I expect you at Pa's desk. Don't make me come looking for you."

"I'm not a coward, Adam."

'If only,' Adam thought as he walked out of the barn.

Joe and Billy rode into the barn fifteen minutes later.

"So how was your day?" Billy asked praying for a smile and was surprised when he saw a small one.

"I could be a bucker if I wanted," Jax said smiling.

"Adam let you…" Joe started in a shocked.

"No Adam gave me seven with the switch because I used a crosscut saw with Tommy. As a bonus I get to tell Pa when I get inside, but I was able to do it," Jax said still smiling.

"You are the only one crazy enough to smile about getting a switching," Billy said. "I gotta get home. Good luck Jax."

"She's gonna need it," Joe said pulling his sister into a hug. The second Billy was gone, Joe looked at his sister and said, "Are you really ok?"

"NO! How can I be ok? Adam is being unreasonable. My bet is Pa's going to spank me again and my butt's already damaged enough, and I also bet I'm going to be restricted to my room."

"That's what I thought. Do you…"

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"

"Let me know what you need me to do and I'm behind ya sis."

"I know sorry, Joe. I just don't want to face Pa."

"Quicker you go in there the quicker it's over."

"True," Jax said taking a deep breath before leaving the barn.


	4. Chapter 4

**Heartbroken **

Jax took a deep breath before she walked into the house. She didn't want to tell her father what happened, she didn't want to hear the lecture, and she sure as heck didn't want to feel his strong hand hitting her poor butt. But she had to go in and experience all of that, because like she told Adam, she wasn't a coward and it was the only way to help Adam and her Pa understand, she hoped. She took another breath opened the door and walked straight over to her father's desk. Adam was already standing there with his arms folded across his chest and her father looked extremely angry.

"I guess Adam already told you what happened today," Jax said casually.

"I would love to hear your side of the story," Ben said keeping his anger in check, something that his little girl was making almost impossible right now.

Jax took another breath, sat in the chair her father was pointing to, and said,

"Adam made me work with Tommy today picking up kindling and smaller logs. Tommy was a great little boss and showed me exactly what I was supposed to do. But picking up wood isn't really what this is all about…"

"What's it about?"

"Proving myself."

"Why do you need to prove yourself?"

"Because you and Adam don't believe in me. You don't trust…"

"Young lady, your actions today prove that we shouldn't trust you," Ben said angrily.

"My actions today were because you didn't trust me. If you would just…"

"Listen here little Missy, you are our employee and you will do this our way."

"But your way will never let me do what I want," Jax argued, hating that she sounded like a bratty little kid.

"We're going to let you do what we think you can do and nothing more, do you understand me?"

"And you wonder why I ran away," Jax mumbled under her breath soft enough for Ben not to hear it but loud enough for Adam to.

"What did you just say?" Adam asked angrily wanting to land a hard swat for her mouthy comment.

"I said, and you wonder why I ran away!" Jax said angrily.

"We know why you ran away; maybe you're the one who needs reminding of what will happen…"

"I'm not running away again Pa, but I won't stop until you both accept that I can do this."

"Jacqueline, your actions today were unacceptable."

"Adam's actions today were unacceptable. He knew that I talked Tommy into cutting that log, but he still let Tommy's father give him two stripes with the switch. Tommy shouldn't have been punished," Jax said angrily.

"You're right it was your fault and not Tommy's but for some reason you tend to forget that your actions can have consequences for others," Adam said.

"So you let Mr. Gallagher whip him to make a point?" Jax spat. She had never wanted to punch Adam so much in her life and if he said yes to this she would never forgive him.

"Jacqueline, I would lower your voice if I were you," Ben warned.

"Pa, Adam had no right…"

"You had no right picking up that saw and using it to cut that piece of wood. What happened to Tommy is a result of your actions," Ben said.

"What happened to Tommy was wrong," Jax said getting up knocking over her chair in the process.

"Sit back down, I didn't excuse you yet," Ben said angrily.

Jax picked up the chair and reluctantly sat back down. She was trying everything in her power to make sure her father didn't spank her again. Her butt hurt enough.

"It wasn't my intention for Tommy's father to thrash him," Adam said, "In fact I asked him not to."

"You did?"

"Yes I did. I didn't threaten to fire him like you did…"

"You threatened to fire one of my employees?" Ben bellowed.

"I didn't think what was going on was fair. I was the one who started it and I should've been the only one punished. Tommy tried to talk me out of it and…"

"Jacqueline Anne-Marie Cartwright, listen hard, don't ever threaten one of my employees again. Adam and I are the only ones allowed to hire and fire people on this ranch. Taking away someone's livelihood is not something to be taken lightly."

"I'm sorry, Pa," Jax said besides getting Tommy in trouble, that was the only thing she felt sorry for and maybe just maybe her father would take it as an umbrella sorry. Her hopes were dashed with Ben's next question,

"For threatening Patrick's job or for everything?"

"For threatening Mr. Gallagher's job," Jax said honestly.

Ben sighed, Adam told him he gave her seven with a switch, but there was no way he could let this go.

"Alright Jacqueline, head on up to your room, I'll be there directly."

"Pa, Adam already thrashed me with a switch."

"He did that as your employer."

Jax didn't say another word; she just walked up the stairs. Ben walked in a few minutes later. Jax breathed a sigh of relief that his belt wasn't in his hand.

"Petticoats and pantaloons."

"Bare?"

"Yes Jacqueline, bare."

"Pa…"

"Now."

Jax knew better than to argue at that point and did as she was told before allowing her father to help her across his knees. Ben shook his head seeing the stripes of the switch littering his daughter's backside. His son hadn't gone easy on his daughter and neither was he. He lifted his hand high and brought it down hard. Jax was going to stop this foolishness and would stop putting herself in danger. His strong hand kept dropping as he watched his daughter's bottom turn a dark shade of red. Jax hadn't started begging yet and at this point Ben knew pride was the only thing keeping her from doing so. He tilted her forward and started in on her sit spots. That got Jax's tongue moving,

"I'm…sorry…please…"

"Are you really sorry, Jacqueline?"

Jax hated that she couldn't say yes.

"No…"

Ben sighed and rephrased the question,

"Are you sorry that you put yourself in danger?"

"Yes…sir…"

Ben stopped the spanking and pulled his daughter's pantaloons up before holding her in his arms. Jax could never push away from her father, she wanted his strong arms around her and she wanted his forgiveness even when she felt she did nothing wrong. Ben hated that he made her cry that hard and hated that his next words were going to make her cry all the harder. He put her down and took her hands into his before saying,

"Jacqueline."

"Yes sir."

"You're fired."

"But…" Jax said pulling her hands out of his.

"Your brother has shared how disrespectful you've been and your behavior has been totally out of control, so as your employer the only thing I can do is fire you."

"Pa, that isn't fair."

"Has the way you've been treating your brother been fair."

"I guess not."

"Guess not?"

"No, I've been very disrespectful," Jax admitted as the tears started to fall. The more she thought about it the angrier she was with herself.

"I really think you should apologize to your brother. You'll also spend the next week in your room."

"Pa, am I fired for forever?"

"Jax, when you're fired you're fired."

"But, I just wanted to prove myself."

"And your wanting to prove yourself just got you fired."

Jax threw herself on her bed and started sobbing. Ben rubbed her back and was surprised when Jax pulled away.

"Sweetheart, your safety is the most important thing in the world to me and you proved that you weren't going to be safe about this."

Ben tried to rub her back again and Jax just scooted farther away. If it was Adam, Jax would've pushed his hand off her back, Ben was sure of it.

"Ok, I'll give you some time," Ben said getting up from the bed. "I'll see you at dinner."

Adam watched as his father walked into the living room.

"You ok?"

"Not sure. I fired her."

"Isn't that taking it a bit far?" Adam asked feeling completely guilty. He didn't want Jax fired; he just wanted her to listen to him.

"No. I'm not losing her and she was going to get herself hurt or killed."

"Pa…"

"The discussion is over."

"Yes sir," Adam said walking out of the house and out to the barn.

"Is Jax ok?" Joe asked the second he saw his older brother.

"She could use a friend," Adam said honestly.

"Will you please finish our chores?" Joe said seeing how guilty Adam looked; he knew something was totally wrong.

"Sure."

"Adam, what happened?" Joe asked so he knew what to expect when he got inside.

"Pa fired her."

Joe didn't say another word, he ran into the washhouse before running into the house. Ben decided not to stop his son; his daughter really needed her twin right now.

Joe knocked but didn't wait for his sister to answer. He was on his bed a few second later and felt bad when she hissed with pain.

"You ok?"

Jax kept crying hard.

"Come on sis, talk to me."

Jax shook her head no. Joe just rubbed his hand up and down her back and waited for her to calm down. The second she was finished, Joe tried again,

"Talk to me."

"No! You get to do everything and I get to do nothing!"

"Jax, it's not my fault."

Jax just started crying again. She was absolutely heartbroken. Sure she had been a brat and sure she didn't listen to her brother, but she never thought her father would fire her.

"Jax, please stop crying."

"I can't believe he fired me," Jax said the second she was finished crying.

"I know, maybe he'll change his mind."

"No he won't. He said so."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Be who they want me to be."

"What does that mean?" Joe asked dreading the answer. Jax was known to go to extremes to prove her point.

"I'm going to be the perfect daughter and the perfect sister."

"Why?" Joe asked with concern.

"I'm fired from the Ponderosa that means I'm fired from this family, so I'll give them what they want."

"Jax, Pa didn't fire you from the family."

"Yes he did," Jax said her voice breaking.

"No he didn't."

"Yes he did. He fired Jax, so I guess to be a part of this family I have to be Jacqueline."

"Jax, come on you know Pa wants you to be you."

"No he wants a perfect daughter. He doesn't want me," Jax said and sobbed hard.

Joe grabbed his sister and hugged her tight before saying,

"I want you."

"Thanks Joe."

Two hours later Ben called them to dinner. Dinner was a somber experience. Jax didn't look up from her plate and Joe decided he was going to support his sister completely and followed her lead. Once Jax finished eating she looked at her father for the first time all night and asked,

"My I please leave the table sir?"

"Jax…" Ben started only to be interrupted by his daughter.

"My I please leave the table sir? I am grounded to my room, am I not?"

"Go."

The second she left the room, Ben turned his attention to her twin.

"What was that about?"

Joe shrugged.

"Joseph, you know what your sister is thinking and I want to know."

"She's mad at you and doesn't think you're being fair about the entire thing and I agree with her. May I go to my room?"

"Go ahead."

The second Joe was gone, Ben turned his attention to Hoss and said,

"Will you please talk to your sister?"

"Sure, I'd love to talk to my baby sis."

"I don't know if you'll love it once you talk to her," Adam mumbled.

"What happened today?"

Ben and Adam told Hoss about what happened and that Ben had fired her.

"Pa, that isn't fair. She just cut a log."

"She put herself in danger," Ben said.

"Yes sir, but Jax's probably heartbroken."

"I know she is, but my decision is final," Ben said.

"Yes sir," Hoss said getting up from the table.

Jax had a feeling that Hoss would pay her a visit and she was going to feel completely guilty but he was getting the same treatment as her father and older brother. She didn't bother to answer when she heard the tap on the door.

"Hi Pumpkin."

"Hello," Jax said coldly turning away from him and concentrated on her drawing.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm perfect."

"Jax…"

"Thank you for the visit, but I'm grounded so I must ask you to leave."

"Pa said…"

"Sorry, I'm just following orders," Jax said refusing to look at her teddy bear of an older brother.

"Ok, Pumpkin. Let me know if you want to talk."

"Thank you for the visit."

"I love you Jax."

The second the door was shut Jax whispered with tears in her eyes,

"Love you too, Hoss."

Hoss walked into Joe's room and said,

"Look, I know you and Jax don't tell on each other, but I'm worried. I promise not to tell Pa and Adam, but I have to know what's going on."

"Pa fired her from the Ponderosa, so Jax feels that he fired her from the family as well."

"Pa didn't fire her from the family."

"The Ponderosa is a big part of the family and Jax feels like Pa just cut a piece of her soul away."

Hoss sighed,

"Is she going to talk to Pa about this?"

"No, she's going to give Pa what he always wanted."

"What?"

"The perfect daughter."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know, but I do know I don't like it and she's going to hate it."

"If she hates it she'll stop."

Joe just looked at his brother.

"She's proving a point isn't she?" Hoss asked in response.

"I think so, but she says she's just giving them what they want."

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Ben walked into his daughter's room right before bed and hoped she would be reasonable, but had a feeling she wouldn't want him there. He sat down on the bed and realized that she was pretending to be asleep.

"Jax…"

"I'm extremely tired, sir. May we talk in the morning?"

"Jax, look at me," Ben said and his heart broke seeing his daughter's puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Yes sir?"

"You know this is for your own good."

"Yes sir. Now may I go to sleep?"

Ben leaned over to give her a hug and kiss goodnight but she just stiffened at the affection.

"I love you."

Jax laid down and faced the wall wanting to cry but she refused to do so until he left the room. Ben wanted to walk back in when he heard the sob coming from behind the door, but knew his daughter would act like nothing was wrong if he did. He saw Adam standing in the hall and the concern on his son's face.

"She's just upset, but she'll get over it."

"I hope so," Adam said walking into her room. He walked over and tried to rub his hand up and down her back, but she just shoved him away. Adam sighed and decided to defend himself by saying, "I didn't know he'd fire you."

Jax's answer was silence.

"Come on Jax, you know not talking only works with Little Joe and Hoss."

"Sorry sir, I didn't mean to offend. As I told my father, I am very tired and would like to go to sleep. So I'd be forever grateful if you would leave my room."

"Stop it."

"Stop what sir? You said I was disrespectful. Do you feel I am being so now?"

"Jax come on. This isn't you."

"You don't want me to be me, sir. I'm just giving you what you want."

"Jax, this isn't what we want."

"Sir, I am tired. A young lady needs her rest."

"Jax, cut it out."

"I can't sir."

"Jax, I want my little sister back right now!" Adam said exasperated.

"Adam, you don't want your sister. You want a young lady, so I'm giving you what you want. Will you please honor my request and leave my room?"

Adam growled in frustration and walked out of the room. For the third time of the night Jax started crying. Adam walked straight into Joe's room and demanded,

"What in the devil is your sister doing?"

"She's just giving you and Pa what you want. I don't understand why you're so upset. You wanted the perfect young lady and now you have it," Joe said trying to keep his temper. He blamed Adam for this. If Adam would've been more understanding Jax wouldn't have been fired and wouldn't be going through this right now.

"We want Jax to be Jax without putting herself in danger."

"No you don't, if you wanted that you would've given her a chance and not treated her like a piece of china. She can do this if you gave her a chance, but instead Pa fired her and in Jax's eyes…" Joe stopped his rant realizing he was about to tell Adam why Jax was doing this and how she really felt.

"In Jax's eyes what?"

"Talk to Jax."

"I have talked to Jax but she isn't talking to me."

"If you were Jax would you honestly talk to you, Pa, or Hoss? YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN HER!" Joe said angrily.

Adam sighed. He knew Joe was right, but he honestly didn't know what to do about it. He couldn't live with the perfect Jax anymore than he could live with the reckless Jax. He bet his father felt the same way, but would say Jax was just pouting and would get over it sooner or later. Adam had a feeling that it would be way later or not at all.

For two weeks perfect Jax walked around the house in a daze. She wouldn't return any affection her father or brother's gave her. Each hug was stiff and cold. Each question was answered with a yes sir or no sir. She didn't call Adam by his name most days. Hoss was luckier in that department. As for Ben it was always sir. Ben couldn't remember the last time his daughter called him Pa. She only left her room for meals and to do her chores.

"Pa, I want Jax back," Hoss said.

"I'm not allowing her pouting to change my mind."

"Pa, this isn't pouting," Adam warned.

"It's pouting. Nothing more, nothing less," Ben said getting up from the table.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

"Come on Jax, go swimming with me and Billy," Joe begged.

"I can't Joe."

"Why not?"

"Perfect young ladies don't swim with boys."

"Jax, you've taken this too far. You're not a perfect young lady, you're Jax."

Jax just turned away and started crying for the millionth time in the last two weeks.

"Just go with us, please. It'll make you feel better. You haven't left the house since Pa…" Joe couldn't say the words. "Billy misses you and so do I."

"I don't want to ask."

"I'll ask for you."

"If he says yes, I'll go."

Joe ran down the stairs and was happy to see Adam sitting at the desk.

"Can Jax go swimming with me and Billy?"

"Why isn't she asking?" Adam asked.

"You know why! A perfect girl would never ever go swimming with two boys," Joe said angrily.

Adam growled. In some ways he thought he should let her stew in her own juices, but he hated how miserable she was right now. He missed her smile, her spunk, and even her tendency to be disrespectful. He wanted his sister back and if his saying she could go with Joe and Billy would be a start, then that was what he was going to allow.

"Tell her yes and Little Joe, please see if you can talk some sense into her."

"I agree with her Adam, you and Pa wanted this and she's just giving you what you wanted."

"Joseph, I want the real Jax."

"Pa, fired the real Jax," Joe said and walked away. Not realizing he just told Adam what was really going on.


	5. Chapter 5

**Coming to an Understanding**

Billy sat by the lake and hoped that Joe was able to convince Jax to come out. He had a lot to say to her, most of which she didn't want to hear. Joe had told him everything that had gone on and Jax's reactions to it. In his mind she was being a spoiled brat and needed to be set straight right now. His only fear was that Jax and Joe might pound him into the oblivion, even though Billy already told Joe he was going to tell her off. He also knew Joe agreed with him, but would never abandon his twin.

Jax got off the horse full of smiles,

"Thank goodness that I got out of that house, I'm going crazy."

"That's your own doing," Billy said honestly.

"No it isn't. My Pa fired me," Jax exploded.

"Think about it for a minute Jax, if you would have acted that way on the O'Kelly ranch what would have happened?" Billy asked.

Jax was quiet for a few minutes, having an internal battle. She wanted to say she would have gotten her way, but that would've been a lie. If she really thought about it, she'd have gotten fired.

"But family…" Jax tried only to be shot down by Billy,

"This isn't about family. Trust me, Hoss treats Joe like everyone else and before you say Adam wasn't doing the same, you're right. I know you're going to hate me for saying this but you're not like everyone else, you're you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jax said defensively.

"It means that you don't listen to your family, especially when it comes to Adam. It's like you want to make him angry for some reason. I get the whole my older brother gets on my nerves thing, trust me, Tim can be an absolute jerk sometimes, but I always respect him. When we worked the O'Kelly ranch you didn't argue once. You did as you were told..."

"But they let me…"

"They didn't let us do everything and you know it. It took us two months before we were allowed to break horses and they didn't have a lumber camp, so you have no idea what they would've let you do. So quit being a little brat and talk to your family," Billy said walking down to the lake to let what he just said soak in.

Jax stood there with her mouth open and looked at Joe before asking,

"Do you feel the same way?"

"I think you should talk to Pa and I agree that you've been a brat, but I also understand why."

Jax walked down to the beach and sat down, reflecting on the last few weeks. The more she thought about it the more she realized that Billy was absolutely right.

Billy looked over and saw Jax thinking. He loved that she actually thought about things when she wasn't angry. Angry Jax was impossible, but calm Jax was usually reasonable.

"So?" Billy asked walking back over to his friend.

"I guess I owe Adam and Pa and apology. But I still don't want to be fired," Jax said hating that she was whining.

"When are you going to apologize?" Joe asked. He hated the past two weeks. They were probably the longest of his life.

"Tonight," Jax said looking down. She hated admitting that she was wrong and that was exactly what she had to do tonight.

Billy walked over and gave her a hug. The second he let her go she asked.

"Do you have any ideas on how to get rehired?"

"Nope, but I'm betting this will be a step in the right direction."

Jax just smiled at him and said,

"Maybe we can show…"

"Give it a break Jax. Joe and I will be there to help you I promise, but you need to make up with your family first," Billy snapped.

"Ok and I have a great idea, just so you know."

Billy and Joe looked at Jax and smiled. Jax's great ideas were fun, but usually caused them to sport a sore backside for a couple of days at least.

"Well let's go swimming," Joe said throwing his sister into the water, knowing full well that he would pay for that later.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Adam honestly didn't know what to do with the information Joe gave him. Jax was probably being over dramatic, but could she honestly think Pa fired her from the family? Well either way he needed to talk to his father about everything and hopefully this time the man would listen.

Ben sighed as he got off Buck so he could walk into the house. His home was no longer the happy place it once was. He honestly missed his little rebellious daughter. The perfect one that he thought he wanted, at least on the nights when he punished his naughty daughter, wasn't the one he liked or wanted. He also didn't appreciate the looks he was getting from his son's either. They wanted him to break down and give Jax what she wanted. Well, he didn't award pouting and this was pouting if it was anything and his daughter wasn't going to win this battle of wills. If he gave in it would prove to the girl that pouting would always get her what she wanted. He walked in the door and was greeted by a sour faced Adam.

"If this is about Jax, I don't want to hear it."

"Pa, it's important."

"Adam, your sister is pouting and I don't reward pouting."

"Pa, Little Joe let something slip today and I think you need to hear it."

"Yes?"

"Jax thinks you fired her from the family."

"That's ridiculous."

"Think about it for one second. She was being her ornery self. You spanked her for doing something she didn't think she did wrong and ten seconds later you fired her for being the girl she wants to be."

"Adam, this is pouting and bratty behavior nothing more. I know I hurt her feelings and I know she feels that I don't want her to be herself, but if she would get off her high horse she would realized just how foolish she's actually being."

"Can I talk to her about it tonight?"

"Go for a ride with her when she gets back, but don't make promises you can't keep."

"I won't."

Three hours later Adam heard laughing coming from the front yard, something he had missed for the past two weeks and decided to try to talk to Jax once again.

"Jax, will you go for a ride with me?" Adam asked and prayed she said yes.

Jax looked at Joe who nodded once and Adam was sure that one nod said more than yes.

For the first ten minutes they rode in silence.

"Adam?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry," Jax said looking at him with tears glistening in the corner of her eyes. Adam stopped the horse and grabbed his little sister pulling her into a hug.

"Come on let's sit down," Adam said pointing to a fallen log. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for getting you fired too, that wasn't my intention."

"Well, I kinda deserved it. I didn't listen to you and was trying everything my power to push you into doing something you thought I wasn't ready for."

"I'm sorry that I didn't give you more of a chance. You know it's because I love you right?"

"Yeah, but could you love me a little less and let me do what I want?" Jax teased getting tickled by her older brother.

"So what are we going to do now?"

"I'm going to apologize to Pa and hope that he'll give me another chance."

"I don't want to dash your hopes, but he's not going to."

"How can I change his mind?"

"I honestly don't know."

"The all-knowing Adam not knowing something, I'm shocked," Jax teased again.

"I've really missed you kiddo."

"I've missed you too," Jax said giving her brother a huge hug.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Adam and Jax walked back into the house laughing. Ben, Hoss, and Joe smiled brightly at the site. Adam squeezed her shoulder and Jax said,

"Pa, can we talk on the patio?"

"Of course," Ben said taking his daughter's hand.

The second they were outside Jax threw herself into her father's arms. She missed this so much. Ben took the fourteen year old and pulled her onto his knee.

"I'm really sorry Pa. Sorry for not listening to Adam, sorry for being disrespectful, sorry for putting myself in danger, and I'm really sorry about being a pouty little brat."

Ben's answer was to pull her into a huge hug.

"That's my girl."

"Pa, I know saying I'm sorry isn't going to get me rehired, but in time will you consider it?"

"I'm not sure."

Jax just nodded her head and decided to put getting rehired phase one into effect. She just hoped that Billy and Joe were up for it.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Mill**

Jax climbed out of her window up over the roof and into her brother's window. She couldn't believe that Joe had fallen asleep. She told him the plan, so he should be waiting with anticipation, like she was.

She shook him and whispered,

"Joe, wake up."

"Time already," Joe yawned.

"Aren't you excited?" Jax asked smiling.

"Sure am," Joe said returning her smile. He hoped this worked and they weren't going to get into too much trouble. "Billy should be up there by the time we reach the camp."

They climbed down the tree and saddled their horses in the moonlight. Jax couldn't stop smiling. She knew that this would prove to her father and brother that she could do this and maybe just maybe after the tanning and restriction she knew she would get, he would let her go back to work and actually let her do the job this time.

Billy was waiting at the top of the hill two hours later.

"So what's the plan?" Billy asked.

"I looked at the books tonight and they need six more trees to go through the mill to complete the Peterson Contract," Jax said smiling.

"Well let's get rolling," Joe said walking down to the mill.

Jax was able to start the mill up without any problems. Joe and Billy watched in awe as she worked. It was amazing how much she had learned just sitting in the building for a week.

"Are you doing all of the work tonight or are we going to help out some?" Billy teased.

"Don't worry, I'll put you to work soon enough," Jax laughed.

After fifteen more minutes Jax said,

"Ok we need to get the logs up here. I don't think Miss Lily is strong enough. Would you mind using Cochise and Hurricane?"

"No," the boys said quickly.

They walked down to the river and that was when Jax saw the first problem of the night. The logs weren't there, they always were there. Jax bit the left side of her bottom lip and tried to keep the facade that she knew what she was doing.

"Where are the logs?" Joe asked.

"Somewhere upriver," Jax said with a shrug.

"You know how to get them down here?" Billy asked.

"Usually the log drivers bring them down here," Jax said.

"Did you ever see them?" Joe asked.

Jax sighed before admitting,

"No, Adam never let me get near the river."

"So, what are we going to do?" Billy asked.

"Get them down here, it can't be that hard," Jax said as she lit an oil lamp.

"Well, let's go. The sun will be up before we know it," Joe said walking back towards the horses.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Adam woke with a start. A deep sense of dread seeped into his bones. Something was wrong he just knew it. He sat up and decided he had to check on his sister.

Adam walked into her room and swore the second he saw it was empty. He took a breath and walked down the hall to find his brothers room just as empty. It took him all of three seconds to decide that he was going after them and giving them one hell of a spanking before dragged both of them home so their father could do the same.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

"Alright all-knowing one, what do we do?" Joe asked flashing his million dollar smile so his sister would know he was joking around and wouldn't punch him.

"They usually float them down a bunch at a time, but we only need six, so I say we only float six down," Jax said logically looking at all of the logs near in the river.

"How do you propose that?" Billy said.

"We need to tie six of these huge logs together and float them down there. That's how they get them there during the day," Jax said smiling.

"How do they get them together?" Billy asked.

"According to Charlie it's like making a raft. We have to roll…"

"So we get to run on them! Well come on," Joe excitedly running over to a group of logs floating in the water. He had seen this done before and he so wanted to run on a bunch of logs. It looked like a lot of fun.

"JOE WAIT!" Jax screamed as Joe jumped onto a log.

Joe slipped off the log and was under the water a few seconds later, his head popped up in between two logs. Jax and Billy were down there in a flash, each trying to get to Joe but the logs kept pushing him under, he was getting banged up as the logs rammed him.

"Joe, grab the log," Jax screamed.

"Jax, we gotta get him out of there."

"I know," Jax screamed back.

Joe screamed as another log struck him.

Adam heard the scream as he rode into the lumber camp. He was off his horse and down the hill in a matter of seconds.

"Adam, you gotta save him," Jax screamed tears running down her cheeks the second she saw her brother.

"Jax, go get help from the camp," Adam said.

Jax ran to the camp.

Adam scanned the area and grabbed a pole.

"Joseph, grab on."

Joe grabbed the pole, but another log hit him and he went under again. Adam swore. He knew better then to jump in after him, even though he wanted to with all of his might.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Jax ran into the camp and screamed,

"WE NEED HELP!"

Men ran out of their tents in a matter of seconds. Fifteen men followed Jax down to the river. They all knew that anyone in the water, man or child could die in a matter of minutes.

"Alright, Jake, Ed, I need you to drive these logs out of the way," Adam said.

Within seconds the logs were starting to move. Joe was still going under and getting banged up bad. He was screaming and gurgling.

"Hurry, he's going to drown," Jax screamed at the two men. Billy ran over and grabbed her hand.

"He's going to be ok. Adam's here," Billy promised.

"He's going to die and it's my fault," Jax said making Billy pull her into a hug.

"No he's not, I promise."

Jax just sobbed into his shoulder, not able to watch. She sobbed harder each time she heard him scream in pain.

"Billy, go get your father," Adam ordered.

"Yes sir. Jax, come with me," Billy tried.

"No, I need to stay with Joe," Jax said pushing him away.

"Jax, go get Pa," Adam ordered the second Billy was away.

"No! I have…"

"Jacqueline, get your ass on that horse and get our father right now!"

Adam had never swore in front of her, so it shocked her into doing what he said.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Billy ran into his house and up to his parents' room and busted open the door,

"PA!"

Paul Martin jumped awake at hearing the fear in his son's voice.

"What's going on?"

"It's Joe! You have to come to the lumber camp now," Billy said.

"Hitch up my horse, then get your butt in bed. We'll talk about this later."

"Pa, please let me go. I have to make sure Joe's ok," Billy said with tears in his eyes.

"Hitch up the horse, now," Dr. Martin said.

Dr. Martin was out of bed and in the barn just as Billy finished hooking up his father's horse.

"Don't make me stay here," Billy begged again.

"Joe might be really hurt and I don't want you to see it."

"Jax needs me."

"Alright son, but you will be up on that hill and not watching what's going on."

"Yes sir."

Billy climbed into the wagon with his father.

"What happened," Dr. Martin asked the second they were on the road.

"Jax, wanted to prove her…"

"I thought we handled that last month, young man. That girl…"

"Jax is amazing, Pa. I have to help her make her family understand that."

"Jax is a little girl who doesn't know what's good for her. Why was she trying to prove a point this time? I thought her father was allowing her to work on the ranch with Adam."

"Her Pa fired her the other day…"

"For good cause, I bet."

"No it wasn't. He fired her for cutting a log."

"Do you know how dangerous a cross cut saw is?"

"No sir."

"Men lose limbs every day from those things."

"Pa, she's just trying to find her place in this world."

"Her place is at home."

"That's not who Jax is and honestly that wouldn't be the Jax I love."

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Jax ran into the house and screamed for her father and brother. Ben grabbed his robe and was down the stairs within seconds. He saw the tear soaked face of his daughter and asked,

"What's going on?"

"Joe's at the lumber camp and he's hurt bad."

Ben didn't need to hear anymore he ran back up the stairs and was dressed within seconds. Hoss heard the exchange and was down the stairs right after his father. They ran out to the barn and saddled the horses.

Ben's thoughts were racing so quickly through his mind that he wished they weren't riding at full speed to get to Joe, so he could demand answers from his daughter. This had to have been her idea but was it just another way to prove herself? Did his firing her lead to this? No his daughter would have done something rash no matter what he did. It was just who Jax was.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Adam swore every time his brother screamed. He could tell Joe was losing steam and they had to hurry or he was going to lose the fool hearty boy. He felt helpless watching the other men try and save his brother, but he knew the men knew what they were doing.

"Little Joe, we'll be there in a second don't give up," Ed said calmly as he started walking across the logs like they were smooth pavement. He had a pole in his hand and put it out, "Take the pole."

"I can't," Joe said sobbing. Both of his arms were broken.

"Little Joe, I know it hurts but you have to grab this pole right now."

Joe reached his arms up and Ed hissed seeing the bones poking out. He knew the boy would have a hard time holding on so they had to do this quick. Ed swung the pole around and Jake grabbed the boy out of the water.

Adam ran over and saw how broke his little brother actually was. Joe started coughing up blood making Adam worry even more.

"Don't move," Adam said holding his little brother's hand.

"It…hurts…" Joe cried coughing.

"I know buddy, it will be ok. I promise."

Joe passed out immediately after his brother said those words.

It seemed like an eternity for Dr. Martin to ride up onto the scene. Both Dr. Martin and Billy jumped out of the wagon and were over to the broken body of Joe a within seconds.

"William, up that hill right now," Dr. Martin ordered seeing how bad Joe was. "How long has he been out?"

"Fifteen minutes," Adam said trying everything in his power to keep calm.

Dr. Martin ran his hands down Joe's body and swore. The kid had at least two broken ribs. He took out a stethoscope, he breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the strong beat of Joe's heart and was glad that it didn't sound like the ribs had punctured his lungs. He then focused on the bruises that covered Joe's head. He knew the kid had a concussion at the very least and hoped there wasn't any swelling of the brain.

"Adam, I'm going to need your help."

Adam walked over to where the doctor and Joe were.

"I'm going to immobile him and unless there's swelling in the brain, the pain will wake him up. We want him to scream, that way we know the swelling in his brain isn't too bad."

The second Dr. Martin moved Joe's arms; He woke up screaming in pain.

"It's going to be ok, Little Joe," Adam said trying to sooth his little brother, holding down his legs which appeared to be broken as well.

Dr. Martin hurried through the process, but no matter what the ride back was going to be murder on the boy.

"Adam, I need you to hold your brother still as we ride back to my office. It's not going to be easy on him," Dr. Martin turned to Joe and said, "I'm going to give you something for the pain, but it won't go into effect for a little while."

"Please don't move me until it works," Joe said tears streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry Little Joe, but I have to get you back to my office as soon as possible. We have to set your bones before they get infected. Ok Adam, on three."

Ben rode up to the scene as they were loading his son into the wagon. Joe was screaming.

"Stop hurting him," Jax yelled running over to her brother.

Hoss grabbed his sister and pulled her into a hug.

"No matter what Dr. Martin does, it's going to hurt Little Joe."

"Can't he give him something?" Jax asked.

"He already did, it'll take time for it to take effect," Adam said.

"Then don't move him until it does."

"They have to Jax," Billy said. He ran down the hill the second he heard his best friend screaming.

"Why?" Jax asked with tears streaming down her face.

"To make sure he doesn't get an infection," Ben said walking over to the wagon.

"You riding with me Ben?" Dr. Martin asked.

"Yes," Ben said.

"Billy, ride Buck back to my office," Dr. Martin said before snapping his reigns making the horses head back to his office.

It was a grueling ride for everyone. Joe screamed until he finally passed out from the pain. Once in the office things didn't get much better. The pain medicine took the edge off but Dr. Martin was afraid to put the boy completely out until he was sure Joe didn't have a concussion. Finally, every bone was set and Joe passed the concussion test allowing Dr. Martin to put the boy totally out. Dr. Martin walked out of the operating room and said,

"He should be ok. He's a very lucky little boy."

The four men in the room stared at the two children sitting there, both covered in mud.

"This is my fault," Jax said knowing they would want to hear something.

"Why did you go out tonight," Ben asked calmly.

"I wanted to finish the Peterson Contract, to show you that I could do it," Jax said.

"I wanted to help Jax, because I knew she could do it," Billy added.

"Well you were both wrong," Adam said.

Jax wanted to argue that if the logs were at the mill they could've finished the job, but her conscience was telling her that what she did last night was way too risky. She almost got her brother killed. Maybe she was wrong about everything.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Gravity of the Situation**

Billy sat in his room waiting for his father. Adam and Hoss had taken Jax over to the motel, while Ben was sitting downstairs with his broken and battered son. Dr. Martin walked into his son's room, he had no plans on punishing the boy tonight, but he wanted to make sure his son was ok and knew the gravity of the situation.

"Hi Pa," Billy said looking down, thanking his lucky stars that his father didn't have his belt in hand. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Dr. Martin stood in front of his son and crossed his arms before asking.

"Do you realize what could've happened today?"

"Yes sir," Billy said not having the ability to meet his father's eyes or the ability to keep the tears from springing out of them.

"Why do you let that girl lead you by the nose like that?"

"Pa, you know Jax isn't usually…"

"Billy, I brought that little girl into the world and have been there through every sickness, every bump, every bruise, and every adventure the three of you have ever been on. You're right Jax usually isn't this bad, but like I said when we had our discussion about taking her with you this summer, Jax's not thinking and needs her friends to point…"

"She would have done it on her own, if we didn't go tonight," Billy argued.

"Billy there is no way anyone, especially one little girl could cut six trees alone."

"Jax would've found away, I know it. She's amazing Pa."

"I know you have a crush on her…"

"No I don't. She's the best friend I've ever had, yeah she's been kind of a jerk lately and has only been thinking about herself, but usually she would do anything to keep me and Little Joe out of trouble."

"How about out of danger?"

Billy looked down, because Jax really didn't think anything was dangerous and usually he was the first one to point it out. While he tried to stop her from doing dangerous things there, he admired her determination.

"I would call it determination."

"William, I don't appreciate your lying to me."

"Ok, Jax really doesn't think anything is dangerous," Billy decided to admit.

"And this time it almost cost her Little Joe's life and maybe even yours."

"Little Joe decided to jump…"

"William, stop making excuses for her…"

"Pa, it was my fault too. I wanted to help her prove herself and honestly I wanted to try out logging. It looked like a lot of fun," Billy said honestly.

"I'm glad you can admit that son, because tomorrow after supper, I'm thinking you're going to be introduced to a switch. I won't let you risk your life especially not to impress a girl."

"Yes sir," Billy said looking down. He seethed over his father's last remark but decided to keep quiet. Jax and Joe both shared how bad a switch was and he so wasn't looking forward to it.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

It was taking everything in Adam's power not to turn his sister over his knee and spank her until she begged for mercy, but he decided to give her a chance to explain herself first.

"What in the world were you thinking, little girl?"

"That I could do it and if Joe…OW…ADAM!" Jax complained the second her brother landed five hard swats.

"Jacqueline, if I hear another excuse, I promise I'll turn you over my knee, bare your bottom, and give you the spanking of your life. Joseph lying in that bed is mostly your fault. Sure our foolish little brother jumped into a log infested river, but it was your idea to go down there in the first place," Adam said harshly.

"Adam, I know I was wrong to think I could get the logs down the river…"

"But you weren't wrong in your belief that you could finish the contract?"

"I really think I could've if given a chance. Adam, I know you don't believe in me…"

"Jax, I do believe in you, but there are just things you're not ready to do yet and honestly I'm not sure if you ever will be ready to do."

Jax looked down wanting to argue, but seeing Joe's broken body proved that she probably couldn't do everything she thought she could. Even before jumping in the river, Jax knew floating the logs down river might be more than she could handle, but she wanted to prove herself so bad that she didn't really think about it.

"Is Joe going to be ok?"

"We don't know if he'll be able to walk again," Adam said honestly. Jax and Billy were in with Joe when that little discussion was taking place in the waiting room.

"He has to. Joe loves…" Jax couldn't finish because tears took over. That was the moment that she finally got it. This was her fault and her choices could ruin her brother's life. She couldn't believe how selfish she had been in the last few months.

"Jax, come here," Adam said opening his arms. Jax was in them in seconds. She needed his love and strength. Adam held her through her tears before asking, "What are you thinking?"

"That every choice, I've made since I ran away was wrong and now because of my choices Joe could be injured for forever. Honestly I'm lucky he's alive. Adam, I can't live without Joe," Jax said crying yet again.

"Joe's going to pull through."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I promise and you know I keep my promises," Adam said giving her a slight smile. The first one he gave since he picked them up from the lumber camp.

"Is he going to be the same Joe as he was before I dragged him down to the lumber camp?" Jax asked begging for an answer that she wanted, in fact needed to hear. If Joe wasn't she knew first she would never forgive herself, but to make it worse Joe would never forgive her.

Adam didn't have the answer to that question for sure, so he just pulled her into another hug. Jax started crying again and Adam rocked her until she fell asleep.

"Do you want a drink?" Hoss asked.

"I'd love one," Adam said.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

"Pa," Joe said to the sleeping man sitting next to him.

"How are you doing son?"

"It hurts a lot. How many bones did I break?" Joe asked with tears in his eyes from the pain.

"Both arms and legs, four rib, but luckily you didn't break your back."

"Can I have something for the pain?"

"Not yet. Dr. Martin said you need to wait a couple more hours."

"Please Papa, don't make me wait," Joe begged tears falling hard.

"Sweetheart, we're not doing this to be mean. We're doing it to be safe," Ben said glad it wasn't his call. His son hadn't called him Papa in years, so he had to be in great pain.

Dr. Martin walked in at that moment.

"So how's our boy."

"I hurt, Dr. Martin. Please let me have something," Joe begged again.

"I know it hurts Little Joe but we need to be careful. I'll give you some sleeping powders but no morphine for a few more hours."

"Thank you," Joe said drinking down the bitter liquid. He was asleep a few minutes later.

"How's he doing?" Ben asked.

"Better than I thought, but he isn't out of the woods yet. His brain functions are intact that we know for sure, but until we'll have to see how his legs are healing we won't know for sure if he'll be able to walk again. His femur and tibia are broken on his left leg and the femur is broken on the right. Both were compound fractures and driving two hours didn't do anything to aide in the healing process. We're lucky that he didn't break his back, if so he would never walk again. No matter what that boy is in for a long long recovery."

Ben just shook his head.

"I know you're going to argue with me, but he's going to sleep for the rest of the night, so feel free to go to the motel."

"I can't leave him. How do I tell my little boy that he may never walk again?"

"You don't until we know something for sure."

Ben just shook his head yes. He wanted to take his broken boy into his arms and know that everything was going to be ok, but honestly it was in God's hands now and there was nothing he could do about it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Dr. Martin's:**

Jax woke up her stomach swimming with guilt. All she could think of was Joe losing the ability to walk and that it was all her fault. She looked over and saw Adam at the basin, shaving.

"Can I go see Joe?"

"After breakfast."

"There's no reason why I…"

"Jacqueline, I won't argue with you about anything right now. You have a lot to answer for, so you're not going to get to do anything that you want for a long long time."

"But…OW…ADAM" Jax said and started rubbing frantically at the swats Adam had just delivered.

"There are no buts, little girl. You're freedoms are gone. You get to go where we tell you, when we tell you."

"Yes sir," Jax said and scooted farther down before asking, "Did you talk to Pa or Dr. Martin after I went to sleep?"

"Yes."

"Will you please tell me how Joe is?" Jax begged.

"He's in a lot of pain and they only thing they know for sure is that mentally Joe is Joe."

"When will we know if he can walk again?"

"Once he starts to heal."

"What does Dr. Martin think?"

"He doesn't know," Adam said honestly. His heart broke when his little sister started to cry. He knew how much she loved her twin and knew she would never intentionally do something to hurt him. With the exception of Dead Man's Cliff, the only thing hurt because of their adventures were their backsides. He doubted that Jax even realized something could happen to Joe no matter how many times they had told her otherwise. "Come here."

Jax climbed onto her brother's lap and took in the warmth from his hug.

"Can we please go see him?"

"After breakfast, Dr. Martin will be adjusting his breaks this morning and Little Joe's going to be in a lot of pain," Adam said getting more sobs from his sister. He held her through them and once she was only sniffling he said, "Go get ready for breakfast."

"Yes sir," Jax said getting off his lap and wiping the tears from her eyes.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

"Pa, don't let him touch me!" Joe begged watching Dr. Martin get things together for the morning's checkup.

"Little Joe, he has to see how you're healing. It's going to be ok. I'll hold your hand the entire time."

"Please Papa, he'll hurt me," Joe begged again with tears in his eyes.

"Not on purpose. It'll be ok, my brave boy."

Billy winced each time he heard his friend cry out. He wanted to leave the office, but his father told him to sit there and think about what he'd done wrong. Tim walked down and saw how miserable his little brother was and said,

"Let's go for a walk."

"I can't."

"I'll smooth it over with Pa. Come on," Tim said walking outside.

Billy got up and followed his brother not wanting to hear another lecture. Sure Tim wasn't going to lecture, but he didn't mind teasing Billy relentlessly.

"Ok, little brother what were you thinking?"

"I don't know Tim, Jax said she knew what she was doing and I trusted her. I think if the logs were down there it would have been fine."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I wish people could see how amazing Jax really is. If her family would just believe in her, none of this would've happened."

"If Jax would've listened to her family none of this would've happened either. Or if her brother and friend would've pointed out…"

"Jax…"

"William, Jax's a girl and there are things that she just can't do."

"But if the trees were down there I think she could've done it. You should've seen her get the mill started, it was amazing."

"Maybe you're right she could have done it if the trees were down there, but they weren't. Did Jax even consider turning back?"

"No because that's just isn't who Jax is," Billy said honestly.

"So as her friend you should've told her no and if she really is your friend she would've listened."

"Jax is my friend, she's just kinda ornery when it comes to being told what to do," Billy said giving his brother a slight smile.

"Ornery is putting it mildly. How long are you restricted for?"

"Pa hasn't laid down the law yet but I'm betting for the rest of my life. He said he's going to take a switch to me tonight. Do you think he will?"

"Pa isn't known to lie," Tim said feeling sorry for his little brother. He'd only gotten the switch once and that was for sneaking into the saloon and getting drunk.

"How bad is it?" Billy asked knowing about Tim's run in with the switch and hoping his brother would tell him it was just a little worse the belt.

"Pretty bad, but you'll live."

"Thanks a lot Tim," Billy said rolling his eyes.

"Always aiming to please, little brother," Tim said smiling brightly.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Ben was tired and angry. Sure Joe had jumped into the river, but this was almost all on his daughter. After listening to his son beg and cry as Dr. Martin adjusted his breaks, Ben was ready to take it out on his daughter's backside, but he promised himself long ago that he would never tan his children when he was angry. So as he walked across the street his only hope was that his daughter wouldn't start throwing excuses in his face. Ben had a feeling that would push him over the edge.

Jax didn't even look at him when he sat down at the table. It was so unlike his daughter that he was honestly taken aback. He looked at Adam questioningly before saying,

"Jax?"

"How's Joe?" Jax asked with tears leaking out of her warm brown eyes.

"He had a rough morning, so he's sleeping right now."

"What did Dr. Martin say?"

"That he's doing better and we'll be able to take him home at the end of the week."

"Is he going to be able to walk?" Jax whispered, hoping with all of her might that her father would say yes.

"We're not sure yet."

Those four words had Jax's hands covering her face and her body rocking with sobs.

"Jacqueline, look at me," Ben said firmly.

"Yes sir," Jax said looking up.

"We'll get through this and your brother will be ok even if he isn't able to walk again."

"No…he…won't…Jo…loves…" Jax couldn't finish because the sobs were making her shake too hard.

When he walked over to the hotel he expected his daughter to be riled up defending every move she made, but what he had was a heart broken little girl who was blaming herself for everything. He carried her upstairs, sat on the bed, and said,

"I need you to calm down."

Jax just kept sobbing.

"Come on baby, you're going to make yourself sick. Take some deep breaths for me."

Jax took deep breaths but still couldn't stop crying. All she could see was her brother sitting in a wheelchair, never being able to run, never breaking a horse, which she knew that was one of the many things he wanted to do and all of this was due to her arrogance.

Ben just kept rocking his daughter and said,

"Jax, no matter what happens, Joe will forgive you."

"But…he…shouldn't."

"Listen to me. What you did was wrong and foolish, but I know for a fact that you would've never in a million years tried it if you thought this was the outcome."

"You…really…believe…that?" Jax asked her eyes begging for forgiveness.

"Jax, I know how much you love your brother and Billy. There's no way you would hurt them on purpose. They know that too."

"Can…I…see…Joe?"

"After you get something in your stomach because we need to give Joe a chance to rest. He had a tough morning."

"Yes sir," Jax said getting up and walking over to the basin to wash the tears and snot from her face.

Ben held out his hand and Jax took it, both walking back downstairs.

Adam wondered what his father had said to Jax. She still seemed extremely sad, but not devastated.

"Are you going to finally eat?" Adam asked.

"If she wants to see her brother today she will," Ben said firmly ordering her pancakes and eggs.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Joe opened his eyes and saw the person he wanted to see most in the world sitting next to him.

"Hey."

"I'm soooo sorry, Joe…"

"Stop, right now. If you start crying or blaming yourself I swear the second I'm mobile I'll… we'll I honestly don't know what I'll do, because I'm not allowed to hit you," Joe said giving her a smile.

"But this is my fault."

"Adam, swat our sister for me," Joe said looking at their older brother.

Adam just smiled and shook his head.

Jax finally smiled for the first time since Joe jumped into the river.

"Look Adam, I got a smile," Joe teased. Joe knew his sister would be on an immense guilt trip and wasn't going to allow her to take it. He was the idiot that jumped into the river full of logs.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Jax asked in all seriousness.

"I broke like a million bones so yeah," Joe said rolling his eyes getting another smile out of his sister, "but I bet when Pa's done with ya you're going to be right there with me."

"I'll take that bet," Adam said smiling at his younger brother.

"He's gonna tan you too," Jax said sadly.

"Nope, told me this morning that he wasn't when Dr. Martin was adjusting the settings," Joe said giving her a triumphant smile.

"That's not fair. I got a tanning after Dean Man's Cliff."

"Guess I'm just lucky."

Tears sprung to Jax's eyes again. If her father wasn't going to punish Joe, he must really believe Joe wasn't going to get any better.

"Jax?"

Jax wiped her eyes quickly and smiled at her brother before saying,

"Lucky."

Billy walked in hearing the laughter and said,

"Hey Joe."

"Hey."

"I'll leave you three. Little Joe, you need some rest so they're only going to stay for a few minutes."

"Yes sir," was heard by all three and they were quiet until they were alone.

"How are you really?" Billy asked having to hear all of the screaming the night before and this morning when his father was working on him.

"I hurt a lot, but I'll be ok," Joe said giving him his million dollar grin. "What's your Pa going to do about last night?"

"He's taking a switch to me tonight," Billy admitted.

"I'm betting Jax's getting the same," Joe teased.

"Yeah, well if you wouldn't…" Jax started but stopped because she promised herself that she wouldn't blame any of this on Joe.

"If I wouldn't have done a swan dive into a river full of wood we'd be having a laugh about how great we were last night," Joe said smiling.

"Joe, I don't know if we would've gotten them down there. I really didn't know what I was doing when it came to moving logs. Even if you wouldn't have jumped in this could've happened," Jax admitted.

"Were you going to tell us?" Billy asked.

"Probably not. I just wanted to show Pa and Adam that I could do it," Jax admitted looking down.

"Thought so," Joe said.

"The all-knowing one will never admit defeat," Billy teased.

"I know I'm an idiot and I'm really sorry."

"Well I've known since the day we were born that you were an idiot," Joe teased giving his sister a smile.

Jax smiled back and waited for Billy to have his say.

"I'll always forgive you, because usually you aren't wrong," Billy said giving her a hug.

"How many times do I have to say it? QUIT HUGGING MY SISTER!"

The three started laughing hard before Joe squeaked,

"Ow, don't make me laugh."

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Billy hated waiting and he especially hated waiting for a tanning. Sure he deserved it but the wait was killing him tonight. His father said he was going to use a switch and honestly he was afraid. Finally his father walked into his room right before bed.

"William, let's walk outside."

"Yes sir."

Billy followed his father out looking down. Dr. Martin stopped near the woodshed and handed his son a penknife.

"Go cut yourself a switch."

"Um Pa…"

"Go to that willow tree over there cut a branch that isn't too thick or thin, a little smaller than your pinkie, take the twigs and leaves off, and bring it back to me."

"Yes sir," Billy said.

Billy took a shaky hand and cut a tree branch that matched the penknife cleaned it off before walking back over to his father, his hands shaking.

Dr. Martin pointed to a stump indicating that his son should sit down.

"We've talked about this before William."

"I know Pa and I'm sorry."

"Sorry. What are you sorry about?"

"I'm sorry that Little Joe was hurt and that I broke your rules."

"What rules did you break?"

"I snuck out my window, went to the lumber yard, and tried to do something I shouldn't have."

"And you let that girl lead you around by the nose again. You can tell her no and if she's your friend she shouldn't expect you to get in trouble for her."

"Jax doesn't expect me to do things, but as her friend I want to be there for her."

"Billy, another job a friend has is to point out things the person shouldn't do."

"I know you think I have a crush on Jax and maybe I do, but I don't help her because of it. I help her because she's amazing. You weren't on the O'Kelly Ranch with us. She could do things better than I could. It really didn't matter that she was a girl. What mattered was her determination. I think that determination could've made it happen last night possible, if Joe would've listened."

"If Jax was successful did you think I would let it go?"

"No sir."

"Why?"

"Same reason I'm getting tanned now. Pa, if Joe wouldn't have gotten hurt would you have thought about using the switch?" Billy asked his voice shaking slightly.

"Probably not," Dr. Martin admitted, "but William, you have to stop this foolish notion that Jax can do anything a man can do. She's a little girl and before you start arguing, there is nothing you can say that will make me change my mind about that."

"Yes sir."

"Alright let's get this over with. I need to check on Little Joe and you need some sleep."

"Yes sir," Billy said waiting for instructions.

Dr. Paul Martin looked at the sad face of his son and wanted to go back on this punishment. He knew Jax could talk him into doing anything and he knew Billy would never have put Little Joe in danger, but this could've killed all three of the children easily, so he needed to follow through.

"Stand up."

Billy followed the command without question. Dr. Martin took his spot on the stump and motioned for his son to place himself across his knees. Billy again did as directed and gasped when the first swat landed.

Billy hated getting tanned and hanging out with Jax and Joe had caused him more than his fair share. His father landed swat over swat building up a fire that Billy wanted to put out immediately, but his father wasn't stopping so Billy put his hand back to lend some type of relief. His father stopped and put his hand in the small of Billy's back.

Dr. Martin could feel the heat coming from his son's backside and he determined it was time to pay attention to Billy's sit spots and thighs, which he did thoroughly. Billy was sobbing by this point and needed it to be over. He had honestly forgot all about the switch until his father stopped and said,

"I think six should be enough to help you remember to think twice before allowing Jax to lead you into some type of nonsense again.

"I…promise…not…to…follow…Jax…" Billy tried between sobs.

"I think these six will ensure that. Stand up."

Billy again did as he was told and Dr. Martin grabbed his arm quickly laying down the six with the switch. Billy howled and danced with each stripe and promised over and over that he would be good in between the sobs.

Dr. Martin was happy when he was finished because he could hold his son in his arms. Knowing how close to death Little Joe was the night before scared him to no end. Billy was always with the twins and while he loved their free spirits he didn't like the danger that they put him in. Times like now he wished he had the heart to forbid his son from seeing them, but he knew he never could or would. The three had been friends for as long as he could remember. They were the Three Musketeers. He knew that his son would be devastated if he was never allowed to see his best friends again. He also knew his son had a good head on his shoulders and would never do anything this dangerous again. Now if he were Ben and was dealing with Jax, that would be a given. He really didn't envy his friend on most days.

"I'm sorry Pa," Billy said.

"Just use your brain when it comes to Jax's adventures, if not expect the next time to be worse."

"Yes sir," Billy said.

Dr. Martin started walking into the house and was stopped by a small,

"Pa."

"Yes."

"Is Joe going to walk again?"

"I'm not sure. I hope so and the fact that he's a child should help, but his breaks were extremely bad."

"Is it at least 50/50?"

"Yes. I'm more on the lines of 70/30."

Billy smiled brightly at the news.


	9. Chapter 9

**Knowing the Difference Between Proving Yourself and Being Just Plain Wrong**

Jax sat in her room waiting for Adam to come up and have a chat. Jax knew this wasn't a chat she wanted, but it went along with everything else that was terrible about today. She still couldn't believe what her father had forced her to do.

The morning was the same as it had been since the night of the accident three nights ago. Her father returned from the Martin's after sleeping in Joe's room for the night.

"How's Joe?" Jax asked the second she saw him.

"He had a good night. Dr. Martin wants to keep him in his office for at least two weeks and I want Adam and you to go back home today."

"I can't leave Joe!"

"You can and you will leave after you see him today. You're also restricted to the yard so that means you won't come into town without Adam."

"When can I come back?"

"When Adam has time to bring you and don't pester him about it. Little Joe's stable and I promise if he isn't doing well, I'll send Billy out to get you."

"Pa, please don't take Joe away from me," Jax said starting to cry.

"Jax, you have to realize how dangerous what you did was."

"But Pa, I already know how dangerous it was and I'll never do it again, promise. Do anything to me but please don't take Joe away."

"You have some hard lessons to learn, as does your brother. I think separating the three…"

"I don't get to see Billy either?" Jax asked in shock.

"I talked to Dr. Martin last night and we decided that the three of you don't make good decisions together so you're going to take a break from each other," Ben said.

"But…"

"Jacqueline, my decision is final."

Jax ate her breakfast grudgingly, but she decided against arguing with her father. She needed to change his mind, there was no way she could sit at home and not know what was going on with Joe. Not talking to him for three months almost killed her and she wasn't even worried about him then. Right now she wasn't even sure if he would be able to walk again, how was she going to sit at the house and not have daily updates about his progress?

Adam walked down and knew what the first question that was coming out of his sister's was going to be,

"Adam, you have to help me."

"I already know what Pa wants to do and I agree with him," Adam said.

"Why?" Jax asked her eyes pleading with Adam to change his mind.

"Because, I want you to understand how dangerous all of this was."

"I know how dangerous it was. You don't have to keep Joe away from me."

"End of discussion Jacqueline, do you understand me?" Ben said firmly.

"Yes sir."

They finished eating breakfast and Jax ran into Dr. Martin's office and saw Billy standing next to Joe talking. She wondered if Billy was going to be able to talk to Joe every day or not. At first she felt a twinge of jealousy, but after a second's thought she hoped her father and Dr. Martin would let Joe and Billy spend time together.

"You ok?" Joe asked.

"Just mad at Pa," Jax pouted.

"Why?" Billy asked. He watched as she threw herself into a chair angrily and Jax seemed to be doing so with ease while he was doing everything in his power to avoid chairs after last night's lesson.

"He's making me go home today."

"Aren't you ready to go home?" Billy asked.

"If I was allowed to come back."

"Pa's not letting you come back?"

"No," Jax said pouting.

"Why not?" Billy asked.

"We make bad decisions when we're together," Jax said.

Billy smiled and said,

"We sorta do."

"But I still shouldn't be restricted from seeing my brother," Jax argued.

"But you are,"

Ben said walking into the room with Paul at his side.

Jax just glared at the two men.

"Little Joe, Billy, tell Jax goodbye."

"Pa, I can't be stuck in this bed without Jax."

"You can and you will. You'll see her when I take you home," Ben said and decided he wasn't going to hear any arguments. He knew how hard this was going to be on them, but he was firm in his decision.

"But Pa…" Joe started only to be cut off with.

"My decision is final Joseph," Ben said harshly. "Say goodbye to your sister."

"Bye sis," Joe said.

"Pa, please. I under…" Jax began.

"Jax, time to go," Adam said holding out his hand.

Jax sighed heavily, walked over, and took his hand even though every fiber in her being was screaming at her to argue about this. She didn't want to leave her brother and his sad eyes told her that he didn't want her leave.

"Love ya Joe. See ya later Billy."

"Love ya too Jax."

"See ya Jax," Billy said.

She didn't say a word to her father even though she was sure she wouldn't see him for the two weeks either. Adam leaned down and whispered,

"I know you're angry, but tell Pa goodbye too."

"Fine. Bye Pa," Jax said walking out of the room and slamming the door.

"Good luck Adam," Joe said giving his older brother a smile.

"Don't need it little brother. I'm having a chat with her tonight, so she'll be on her best behavior the second I tell her that. Be good and listen to Dr. Martin and Pa."

"Yes sir."

"Adam, take care of your sister and make sure you talk to her about her choices," Ben said. His arms were aching to hold his daughter, but he understood why she left without giving him a hug goodbye.

"I will."

Adam walked out of the office and saw his sister sitting there waiting for him.

"Let's go."

Jax got up and followed her brother to the livery. Hoss had already saddled the horses and tried to help his sister on her horse, but she said angrily,

"I can do it myself."

"Jacqueline, you better stop. You and I are having a long conversation about your choices tonight, so you might want to keep that in mind."

"Why, nothing's going to change the fact that I'm not going to want to sit until Pa gets home."

Adam had enough of her mouth and grabbed her off the horse dragged her over to a bale of hay flipping her over his knee in one quick move. He dropped his hand hard fifteen times before letting her up. He had a feeling his sister wouldn't let him comfort her and he was absolutely right. She walked over to her horse and lowered herself gently onto the saddle before spurring her Miss Lily out of the livery wiping tears angrily from her eyes the entire time.

Adam sighed deeply jumped on Sport but was stopped by Hoss saying.

"I'm going to go say bye to Little Joe and Pa."

"Meaning you don't want to ride home with our sister being an absolute brat."

"I have a feeling that isn't going to be her last spanking of the day and I'm not talking about your talk tonight either."

Adam sighed. He had a feeling that Hoss was right. Jax was angry about leaving Joe and her emotions were high because she didn't know if her brother was going to walk again. He spurred Sport and rode quickly to catch up with his sister.

Jax determined she wasn't speaking to her older brother for the rest of the day. She didn't care what he had to say.

"Pa has a good reason for doing this Jax."

Jax just looked forward.

"Jacqueline, I'm talking to you."

"Adam, I don't want to talk to you."

"Too bad. We have a lot to discuss today, so get ready to talk a lot."

Jax hated that Adam was going to make her talk to him. Her butt hurt and she was sure it would hurt even more if she decided to be stubborn today. She also had a feeling that Adam was going to punish her tonight for her and Joe's little adventure.

"I get that you're mad and I know why. Heck I even agree that you have every right to be angry with me, so there isn't any reason to talk about it," Jax tried.

"I disagree. First I want to know what you were thinking. Second we need to talk about why it was dangerous. Finally, I want to know why you felt the need to do it in the first place."

"Fine. I can answer all of them right now. I thought that I could do it and I still think I could've done it if the logs were by the mill. It was dangerous because I didn't know how to get the logs down the river and finally I wanted to prove you and Pa wrong."

"You just proved that we have a lot to talk about today Jax."

"Why?" Jax whined.

"Why do you think you could do it?"

"Because I was in that mill for days and I watched everything that people did to get the logs through. I also asked Charlie a ton of questions about it."

"But did you ever run the saws?"

"No, because you wouldn't let me."

"So you didn't know for sure if you could do it or not."

Jax sighed and said,

"No, but I was 90% sure that I could do it."

"Jax, how can you be sure that you can do something when you've never tried before?"

"Because most of the time I can do what I set my mind to."

"How about this time?"

"I'd never seen it done, so I wasn't as sure," Jax admitted.

"Why did you try?"

"Stubbornness. You and Pa weren't giving me a chance so I was going to take it one way or another."

They arrived at the house a few minutes later. Adam really didn't know what to say to that. She was right that it was pure stubbornness, but it was also pure disobedience, something that was not accepted in their family.

"I'll take care of Miss Lily, go sit on the settee and wait for me."

"Yes sir."

Adam walked into the house twenty minutes later and noticed his sister was reading a book relaxing. For some reason that irritated him.

"Jacqueline, you're being punished."

"You didn't say I couldn't read," Jax argued.

"When you are sent inside to await punishment, you know that you are supposed to sit and wait."

Jax put her book down.

"If you're going to punish me, why didn't you have me stay in the barn with you?"

"Because we still have a lot to talk about and since I'm doing this bare tonight I thought your room would be a better choice."

Jax lost some of her bravado hearing that her brother was going to spank her bare. She just hoped a switch wasn't involved, but had a feeling it would be. Adam noticed the change right away and liked his chances with the rest of their talk a lot better.

"I take it you don't like that you're getting a bare bottom tanning."

"Are you using a switch?" Jax asked her voice shaking slightly.

"No, a razor strop," Adam said.

Jax had never experience the razor strop, but had a feeling it would hurt a lot more than the belt. Jax sighed and said,

"Adam, can I ask you a question?"

"Always," Adam said giving her a smile.

"If Joe had done the same thing would he be in this much trouble?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he wouldn't have known what he was doing."

"Would you have trained him or would you have treated him the same way as you treated me when I was working with you?"

"I probably would've let him do more," Adam admitted.

"Why?"

"You know why Jax."

"So I had to prove myself."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. You just admitted that you never would've treated me the same as Joe."

"Because you're not the same person as Joe."

"You mean I'm not a boy."

"Jax, we've talked about this at length. I feel there are some things that a woman can't do."

"Well, I disagree and I proved that on the O'Kelly ranch."

"Ok, there are some things that a woman shouldn't do."

"That's absolutely ridiculous. What you are saying is an old fashioned idea."

"No it's the accepted idea."

"I don't accept it and I never will."

"How about accepting you were wrong in this incident?"

"Yes, I was wrong, because I was never shown how to move trees down the river."

"So if the trees were there you wouldn't have been wrong?"

"No," Jax said stubbornly.

"Jax, sneaking out of your room in the middle of the night is wrong as is putting yourself and brother in danger. I don't care if you thought you could do it or not. Running the mill is not a three man job and if you paid attention you would've known that."

"It was my only way to prove myself."

"No it wasn't."

"Adam, I was fired. How was I supposed to prove myself except by breaking Pa rules?"

"So your proving yourself is more important than Little Joe?"

"NO! I didn't want this to happen to Joe," Jax said with tears in her eyes.

"But it did and even if the logs were down river something could've happened. The blade could've slipped, you could've pushed a tree in too far, or the logs could've gotten caught. All of those things happen to experience mill workers and has cost more than one worker a limb or even their lives. You risked your, Little Joe, and Billy's lives just by starting up the mill. I know you would never hurt Little Joe on purpose, but Jax, what you did was very dangerous."

"How do I prove myself then?"

"You don't, you wait until Pa and I think you're ready."

"You already admitted that I'd never be ready."

Adam sighed because what she said was true.

"It doesn't matter, what you did was wrong and dangerous. It might have cost your lives and if might cost Little Joe's ability to walk. You were wrong and there is no other word for it."

Tears started to leak from Jax's eyes. She hated hearing that Joe may never walk again and she knew it was her fault.

"I know that Adam, and I don't know how I will ever make this up to Joe."

"What about the rest of the family? You could've died. Little Joe was on the brink of death when we found him, all because you wanted to prove a point that you had no right to prove."

"I know I was wrong for trying to do more than…"

"Jacqueline, you were wrong the second you left the house and you know it," Adam practically yelled.

Jax just sat there because she knew he was right. Going to the lumber camp was probably the stupidest thing she'd ever did.

"You're right, I shouldn't have gone down there and I should've listened to you, but I just want to be treated as Joe's equal. I know you don't understand that and I know you don't agree, but it's how I feel and I don't think it'll ever change."

Adam had heard enough. He decided they both needed to get this over with. He hated waiting to give her a spanking almost as much as she did, so he said,

"I don't know how many times I have to say this. Little Joe is Little Joe and you are you. Just be Jax. Why don't you go up to your room and get into your pajamas? I'll be there in a few minutes."

Jax made her way up the stairs. She really didn't want Adam to come up. She had a feeling this was going to be the worst whipping she'd ever gotten from her brother and she had had some hard whippings from the man. She wondered if the whipping would help alleviate some of the guilt she was feeling because of Joe. She hoped so.

Adam walked in a few minutes later carrying the razor strop. He figured he would give her fourteen with it after turning her butt a bright shiny red with his hand. He had gotten the razor strop once and he would never forget the sting of it. In all honesty he wished he was using his belt tonight, but he needed to make sure his sister would think before she did these crazy things.

"Let's go Jax," Adam said sitting on her desk chair.

Jax sighed and walked over. She hated getting tannings, but seemed to end up over her brother and Pa's knees more than her fair share of times. She doubted if most children were in trouble as much as she was.

Adam helped her over his knees, pushed her nightgown up before pulling down her pantaloons. He took a deep breath and brought his and down hard on her white butt. His pink hand print glared up at him and he heard his sister's ow, but that wasn't going to dissuade him, so he kept dropping his hand over and over until he could no longer see white nor the imprint of his hand. He finally stopped when her bottom was the bright red that he was looking for and Jax was sobbing. He tilted her forward and gave her ten hard swats on her sit spots turning them the same bright red.

"Jax, give me your hands."

"Why?" Jax asked.

"I don't want you to reach back."

"I…won't," Jax said between sobs.

"I don't want to chance it. If you want you can put them under your belly."

Jax decided to go that way.

"Ok, I'm giving you fourteen."

Jax just nodded, but the second the strop hit her throbbing backside she shrieked. That was so much worse than the belt. It was twice as heavy and burned twice as much. She wanted Adam to stop but knew he wouldn't until he reached the fourteen, so she decided just to cry through them. Maybe he would see how tough she was if she didn't beg, even though she wanted to more than anything right now. Each swat was excruciating and she didn't know how she was going to get through them all especially when Adam pushed her forward again. The strop attacked her already red-hot sit spots and her resolve broke,

"Adam…please."

"Four more and we're done," Adam said.

Jax just nodded her head and sobbed. Adam finished the last four quickly but Jax felt it was an eternity. Once he was finished he pulled her pantaloons over her glowing backside before pulling her into a strong hug.

Jax sobbed hard while Adam rubbed calming circles on her back. After what seemed like a lifetime to Adam, his sister stopped crying.

"I'm sorry Adam."

"I know you are sis, just don't do it again."

"Yes sir."

"Adam dropped a kiss on her forehead and said,

"Why don't you take a nap? You're in your room until Pa gets home."

"Adam, you know how you said Joe is Joe."

"Yeah."

"Next time will you please tan me like a girl?"

Adam smiled and said,

"I thought you wanted equal rights."

"I do but my backside doesn't."


	10. Please accept my apology

I want to explain my reasoning for using the razor strop in the last chapter. Adam was more than worried about his sister and felt that it might help her to understand how dangerous it was. He had used his belt on her before and it didn't seem to work. I figured it was the next logical step. Maybe I took it a little far even though razor strops were part of the culture back then.

For all of you who feel that this chapter was abusive, I'm very sorry and that was not my intention. I love these characters more than you can imagine and I want to do them justice, I'm sorry if I didn't. Trust me I've been really upset by the comments, because of how much I love these characters. In fact I am really thinking about stopping this story and deleting it. I could also just delete the razor strop part. Let me know what you guys think.

And for those who read the comment about me deleting their comment, yes I did delete two comments because of how upset they made me, something that I regretted after I did it, but it's always hard to hear hurtful words and not just constructive criticism especially when I cannot email that reader so I can explain myself. That's why I am doing this right now. Please don't leave guest reviews because I do care what you say, but I also want a chance to discuss it with you and apologize. I respond to every review I get be it positive or negative. This post is a touchy subject, so please feel free to use guest reviews. The rest of the time, I just want to talk about it while this time is about a vote.

Thank you all for your support.

Shell


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10: Jax's Realization

Joe lay in the bed hating everything about his life right now. He hurt all over, he was in isolation with the exception of his father or Dr. Martin, one who hurt him every time he walked in the room and the other who lectured him for hours. He missed his twin more than anything right now. He knew Adam wouldn't bring her back because this was punishment for both of them.

What he didn't understand was why Billy wasn't allowed to come in to? He was always in the office doing whatever his Pa said, but he wasn't allowed to walk the five steps into where Joe was staying. Joe's thoughts were interrupted,

"How are we doing today?" Dr. Martin asked.

"Fine, you don't have to check anything."

"Sorry, Little Joe but I need to see how you're healing."

For ten minutes the doctor looked him over making Joe cry more than once. Why couldn't the guy just leave his legs alone? He didn't bother his arms and ribs, they were broken too.

"You're doing really well. I'm thinking at the end of week you can go home."

"Really?" Joe asked excitedly.

"Really," Dr. Martin said to the smiling boy. He walked out of the room and said, "William, me and Mr. Cartwright have to talk. Go upstairs into your room."

"Can I see Joe instead?"

"No, now get your butt upstairs," Dr. Martin said.

Both men watched the little boy walk reluctantly up the stairs.

"How's he doing?" Ben asked. He hated that Joe asked him not to come in when Dr. Martin was there. He knew Joe was trying to be a man, but he was still Ben's little boy and he wanted to be there when he was hurting. He also knew how angry Joe was about his sister not being allowed to be there.

"It's looking better and better each day. My adjustments, while painful will help him walk again."

"So he'll walk again?" Ben asked with hope.

"It's looking that way. I'm not sure if he'll be able to walk without a crutch or limp, but there's a good chance that he'll walk again."

Ben let out a sigh of relief and thanked God that his boy would mostly likely be able to walk again.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Jax sat in her room thinking about everything. That was probably the worst part about being restricted to her room it gave her more than enough time to think. Honestly she didn't want to think about the past few days. She just wanted to turn back the clock and live with being fired.

But instead, she thought about everything Adam had to say yesterday. She wondered if she really could've finished the Peterson Contract with just Joe and Billy. Adam was right it did take more than three people to run the mill and there was a big chance someone would've gotten hurt just running the mill the other night. Honestly, she hated that Adam was right. She loved proving her point and this time Adam proved his instead.

The only thing she did prove was that she was a spoiled brat who didn't listen to anything people said. Even though she hated every second of the whipping Adam gave her last night, she knew she deserved it for the way she'd been acting. Not only this time but running away for the summer and everything else she had put the family through. Joe may never walk again, her father would probably never trust her again, neither would Adam and she wasn't sure about Hoss, but she knew she hurt her teddy bear of a brother too.

How was she going to make it up to all of them? Well the first step was to apologize, a real apology, not one that allowed her to do what she wanted later on. Adam was the only one home, so she decided to call him up. Jax took a deep breath and called down the stairs,

"Adam."

"Jax, your butt is in that room until Pa gets home, so don't even ask to come down here."

"Will you please come up?"

"Let me finish what I'm doing here and I'll be right up."

Jax went and tried to sit on the bed, her butt, her butt still hurt so she grabbed a pillow to sit on and waited.

Adam walked into the room and hoped with all his might that his sister wasn't going to argue with him again.

"What do you need?"

"To talk."

"About what?"

"About how wrong I've been," Jax said with tears in her eyes.

Adam opened up his arms and Jax ran into them. He picked her up and placed her on his knee making sure that her sore butt didn't touch anything. Jax leaned her head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. She felt safe in his arms and honestly when she thought about it she hadn't felt safe in a long time. She was trying too hard to prove herself, to allow the love that she knew her family had for her.

"Tell me," Adam said.

"I've been thinking about all that's happed and I've been totally selfish about everything. I know I've said that before, but I didn't really mean it."

"So why should I believe you now?" Adam asked. He wasn't going to make this easy for his sister. She didn't deserve it, even though he loved her more than anything.

Jax sighed and thought how to make him believe her,

"If I were you I wouldn't believe me either, but I really mean it this time. I've been thinking about it since you spanked me last night. I already realized that taking off was wrong and going to the mill was wrong. Last night I thought it was only because of Joe and scaring you but after really thinking about what you said I was wrong about everything. If I would have listened to you I wouldn't have gotten fired. If I wouldn't have thought I could do anything, Joe wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"Jax, you know trust is an easy thing to break but a hard thing to gain."

"I know," Jax said looking down.

"So it's going to take a long for us to trust you again."

"I know."

"Jax, we've been through this more than once, you have to think before you act."

"I get it, really I do."

"Do you really?"

"Yes sir. Adam, will you please go to town and check on Joe? I know I'm not allowed to, but I really need to know if he's ok."

"He's fine. I sent Hoss this morning to find out."

"Are you going to do that every day?" Jax asked with hope.

"I'm not sure. We have a lot of work to do because of your little stunt."

Jax just nodded her head and snuggled into his chest before asking,

"You forgive me right?"

"Yes, but I don't trust you right now," Adam said honestly.

"Does Pa forgive me?"

"Yes, but like me he doesn't trust you."

"How can I earn it back?"

"Time and doing what you're told."

Jax looked up, smiled at him and said,

"I guess I have a long hard road ahead of me, because listening really isn't one of my strong suits."

"Tell me something I don't already know," Adam said giving her a smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11: Joe's Homecoming**

"Adam, please let me come down," Jax yelled from her room for what felt like the millionth time.

"Jacqueline Anne-Marie Cartwright, the next time I have to tell you no, I'll be doing it with you over my knee."

"I just want to be down there when Joe gets home."

"NO, and that's my final word on the subject."

"FINE," Jax said throwing herself on her bed. It had been almost three weeks and she was finally going to see her twin. It had seemed like years since she heard his laugh and was able to talk to him. Finally her other half was going to be in the room right down the hall.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

"She's just excited Adam," Hoss said going to bat for his little sister.

"I know, but what she did was dangerous and I'm not going back on my word. She isn't allowed out of her room until Pa walks in that door."

"What do you think Pa is going to do when he gets home?"

"Tonight, I think it's going to be about getting Joe situated. Hop Sing got room set down here. I'm not sure if he's still keeping them apart. I hope not, even though they drive me crazy, I miss their laughter."

"Me too. It's been too quiet with Jax banished to her room and Little Joe in town."

Adam just smiled before Hoss said,

"I'm going to go get their chores done."

Adam sat down at the desk and sighed. He wished he could let his sister down, he really thought she knew what she did was wrong and wouldn't do it again, but he also didn't want to go back on his word. The problem with Jax and Joe was if you go back on your word once, they would take advantage the next time they did something wrong.

Adam smiled when he finally heard the buggy pull up. He walked out of the house and smiled at his little brother. He could see that Joe was still in pain but he could also see how hard his brother was looking for his twin.

Jax heard the wagon pull up and she ran over to her window. It was open in seconds.

"HI JOE!"

"Hi Jax!" Joe said smiling brightly.

"Hi Pa, can I come down?" Jax begged.

"Let me and Dr. Martin get your brother situated," Ben said.

"I can help."

"No," Ben said tersely.

"Please!"

"The answer was no, young lady. I'll call you down when I'm ready and not a minute before and if you want to argue you can stay up there until tomorrow afternoon."

"Yes sir," Jax said closing her window reluctantly.

Ben tried not to smile at the pouting form closing the window nor the one lying next to him. He knew his punishment was a harsh one, but he honestly didn't know how to get it through their thick skulls how dangerous what they did was. His talks with Joe were going nowhere. He wanted to talk to Jax alone and then he would talk to the both of them together. That would be for tomorrow, tonight he needed to get his little boy comfortable in his new room and finally allow his twins to see each other once again.

Jax paced as she waited for her father to call her down. She winced when she heard her brother call out in pain more than once. She wished she could be down there holding his hand. She hated when he was in pain. This was so much worse because she knew that this time she was the cause of his pain.

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

"Little Joe, I need you to stay still," Dr. Martin said calmly. In all honestly he should've made the boy stay in his office until he was totally healed, but he knew being home was almost always the best medicine, even if it meant hurting the boy right now.

"It hurts," Joe cried.

"I know, but I need you to stay still, so I can make sure your legs are set."

"Are you going to keep me tied down here too?"

"Yes, you're not allowed to move until those legs are healed."

Joe sighed he hated this more than anything. He swore he would never do anything that stupid again. He should've listened to his sister, but running on those logs looked like so much fun when he saw other people do it, that he had to try it.

"OW! STOP!" Joe screamed as Dr. Martin tied him down.

"A few more seconds Little Joe," Dr. Martin said trying to sooth the boy.

Tears leaked out of Joe's eyes, but he nodded his head. He kept thinking that he was going to see his sister in a few minutes and everything was going to be better than it had the last couple of weeks.

"Ok, we're done," Dr. Martin finally said. "I'm going to send your Pa in. I'm still coming out here every other day to check on you."

"Yes sir. Dr. Martin, how much longer until I'm out of bed?"

"Three weeks at the least but after that it will be a few weeks before you'll be on your feet again."

"Why?"

"Because you really hurt yourself and it takes a while to recover from that great of an injury."

"But I will get better right?"

"In time," Dr. Martin said giving Joe a smile.

"Ok. When do I get pain meds again?" Joe asked he was in a lot of pain, but he didn't want to go to sleep either. He really wanted to see his sister.

"A couple of hours, maybe your sister can help you pass the time."

"Will you ask Pa if that's ok?" Joe asked excitedly.

"I will," Dr. Martin said walking out of the room.

"How's he doing?" Ben asked.

"He's in pain, but I have him set for tonight and tomorrow. I'll be back on Wednesday to take check his progress."

"Thank you Paul, I have no idea what we would do without you."

"You're welcome."

Ben walked into his son's room and asked,

"How are you doing?"

"I'd be better if I could see Jax," Joe said smiling.

"For a little while. You need to get your rest."

"Yes sir."

Ben walked out of the room and finally called his daughter down.

Jax ran down the stairs and straight towards Joe's room but was stopped by her father.

"Jacqueline…"

Jax threw herself into her father's arms before saying,

"Hi Pa. Thank you for letting me see Joe."

Ben tried not to laugh. He knew the only reason his daughter was talking to him was because he was going to let them see each other.

"You're welcome, but Joe's had a rough day so you're only going to be down here for about an hour."

"Am I still restricted to my room?" Jax asked hoping he would say no.

"Yes. You and I have a lot to talk about."

"Tonight?" Jax asked her voice shaking slightly. She wasn't ready for another tanning and she knew her father was going to tan her good for her latest escapade.

"I think tomorrow will be better. I have a lot of work to do because of your little stunt."

"Yes sir," Jax said looking down and feeling guilty.

"Alright, go see your brother."

Jax gave her father one last hug before running into the room.

Ben looked over to Adam before sitting at his desk. Adam walked the five steps and sat down. He knew his father wanted to know what happened between the two of them.

"So how bad was it?" Ben asked. He knew how close Adam and Jax were and knew how hard this had to be on his son.

"I gave her fourteen with the razor strop after a hard hand spanking."

Ben was shocked and said,

"Wow. Guess I need to curb my punishment down a bit."

Adam smiled at that.

"Does she realize what she did was wrong?"

"Yes, we talked about it the next day."

"I guess that will make our talk a little easier."

"How's Little Joe doing?"

"Good. It looks like he's going to walk again. It's been a long couple of weeks, hearing my little boy cry out in pain and not knowing if it was going to be worth it. I was glad I decided to send Jax home, I'm not sure if she could've handled that."

"So it wasn't only punishment," Adam said smiling. He really hadn't agreed with not allowing the twins to see each other.

"Part of it was and I tell you this, it was effective at least on my end," Ben said.

"Here too, she missed him more than anything and the fact that she was kept in the dark about how he was most days drove her crazy."

"Well, their time together is still going to be limited until Little Joe is out of that bed."

"What are you going to do to her?"

"We have a lot to talk about. I need to know what she was thinking."

"Are you going to tan her?" Adam asked. He still felt guilty about using the razor strop.

"Yes and she's getting the switch."

"How about Little Joe?"

"No, that boy has been through enough to make sure that he won't do anything that stupid and dangerous again, but I am going to talk to them together after Jax's punishment."

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Jax ran into her brother's room. She wanted to hug him but didn't know if it would hurt him or not, so she just sat down in the chair next to him.

"Hey sis."

"How are you?"

"Glad to be out of that office. Dr. Martin insisted on adjusted my legs every day and Pa insisted on lecturing me for hours on end. It was absolutely awful."

"My life wasn't much better here. Adam used a stupid razor strop, it really hurt and you know how he is about lecturing too," Jax said giving her brother a smile.

"Billy's life isn't much better. I guess his pa used a switch and he's restricted to the office or to his room. They wouldn't let him visit either, so it's been boring too."

"How much longer do you think we're going to be punished?"

"For the rest of our lives," Joe said giving her his million dollar smile.

Jax just smiled brightly because she knew what he said was true.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12: Punishment**

Joe looked at the clock for what felt like the millionth time. He hated being in his room by himself. Sure he knew why his father was limiting his contact with his twin, but it didn't mean he had to like it. It was times like these that he missed Jax and his talking hole, even though he they hadn't had it since they were eleven. He looked again at the clock and swore it was moving backwards. There was no way he was going to handle three more weeks of this.

"Pa."

Ben sighed and got up to walk into his son's room.

"Yes."

"Can Jax come down yet?"

"Joseph, I understand you're bored, but you're on restriction so that means no visitors."

"But I'm sick," Joe tried.

"Do you need some more pain medicine?"

"No, I don't like the way it tastes and I don't hurt that much. What I need is Jax."

"What you need is a nap and if you want to see your sister this afternoon you'll take one. So lie down and rest."

"Yes sir," Joe said. The second his father got up he said, "Pa."

"Yes Joseph."

"Are you going to tan Jax tonight?"

"Yes, what your sister did was very dangerous."

"But what happened to me was my fault. I'm the one that jumped on the log and I'm the one who didn't listen."

"So are you trying to tell me that you deserve a tanning too?"

"I think I deserve the tanning more than Jax," Joe said honestly.

Ben smiled at his son, loving how protective he was of his twin and knowing he was going to do anything to save her from the well-deserved tanning she was going to get tonight.

"I agree you deserve a tanning, but I think the pain you've been in should keep you from doing something this dangerous again."

"Yes sir, but Adam's tanning did the same thing…"

"Little Joe, your sister is getting a tanning tonight and nothing you say is going to change my mind."

"Are you going to change your mind about letting her work on the ranch?"

"Maybe when she's older. Right now, Jax thinks she doesn't have to listen and can do anything she wants. She has to prove to me that she will do as she's told. Once she does that I will give her more responsibility."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"Jax and I are having a long talk before I punish her and after we're finished the three of us are going to talk."

"Please don't make me see her tonight. I can't stand seeing her eyes all puffy, especially when the tanning's my fault."

"Jax's tanning is her fault. Even if you wouldn't have gotten hurt, your sister would've gotten this tanning."

"But she wouldn't have gotten Adam's."

"Actually she would've. I probably wouldn't have let your brother use the strop, but he was in charge of training her, so he needed to be part of her punishment."

"I still feel guilty…"

"Maybe you should feel a little guilty. We need to discuss what happened as a family."

"So Adam and Hoss are going to be a part of it too?"

"Yes, I want the five of us to be on the same page when it comes to Jax and you."

"Am I fired?"

"We'll talk about it tonight."

"So I am fired," Joe said trying hard not to pout.

"We'll talk about it tonight, Joseph. Why don't you take your nap?"

"That means 'take your nap now Joseph' doesn't it?"

"Yes it does. Are you sure you don't want pain medicine?"

"Yes sir."

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Jax sighed as she walked back up the stairs. Supper was fun. Pa insisted that they ate with Joe every night. She knew her brother was trying to make her feel better, but honestly nothing was going to make her feel better tonight. Sure she knew she deserved her father's wrath, but she sure as heck wasn't ready for another spanking. Adam's was more than enough.

Ben walked into his daughter's room. He would rather cut off his right arm than to go through with this. He loved his little girl more than anything and he hated every time he had to spank the dickens out of her.

"Come here," Ben said opening his arms.

Jax didn't wait, she wanted his strong arms around her. She always wanted his arms around her. Once there, she leaned against his chest and asked,

"Do you blame me for Joe?"

"I blame Joe for going in the water and you for taking him there in the first place. I know you would never hurt your brother intentionally, but your foolish pride lead to his accident."

"I know. Pa, are you ever going to trust me again."

"Yes, but you have a long row to hoe before you have my trust again."

Jax nodded her head as tears leaked out of her eyes.

"Why do you think I'm angry?"

"Because I got Joe hurt."

"Your brother is part of it, but not even close to the main reason I'm angry."

"I disobeyed you?"

"Yes. How did you disobey me?"

"You fired me, so I shouldn't have been anywhere near the mill."

"What else?"

"I snuck out of the house, when it was dark, and I led my brother and best friend into danger."

"What do you think we should do about it?"

"I know I deserve a tanning and I'm surprised you didn't take me over your knee the second you walked out of Dr. Martin's that night. In fact I wish you would've."

"Why?"

Jax just started crying hard.

"Why baby?" Ben said holding her through her sobs

"Because, I almost killed Joe and I was so selfish about everything."

"Would it have mattered that night?"

Jax shrugged.

"I don't think it would've. You were worried about your brother and on a huge guilt trip. You needed to feel your guilt and I know when I punish you it helps get rid of the guilt."

Jax just nodded.

Ben took her chin and made her look into his eyes.

"Joe's going to be fine."

"So he's going to walk again."

"Yes and when Dr. Martin checked on him yesterday he feels that he's going to be running around the ranch before we know it."

"Really," Jax said giving him a huge smile.

"Yes really, but I think you and I have some business to attend to."

"Do I need to cut a switch?"

Ben sighed. This had been the question that had plagued him for the past two days. The answer was simple, she deserved a switching, but as always he didn't want to deliver it.

"I think my belt will be enough, but you are getting it bare."

"Can we go outside? I don't want Joe to hear."

"I think it will do your brother some good to hear your punishment."

"Why?"

"Because this is part of your brother's punishment too."

"Please don't do that to Joe."

"Jacqueline, this isn't up for debate."

"Yes sir."

"Let's get this over with, petticoats and pantaloons."

Jax did as she was told and forced herself over her father's knee. Ben's belt was already off and he dropped it hard making his daughter yelp.

Joe stared at the ceiling wanting his father to stop. He knew his father never actually hurt them when he tanned them, but he hated hearing the leather hitting flesh and his sister's crying. Usually he didn't feel this guilty when Jax got a tanning, because he was waiting in the wings for his own. The worry about the spanking always trumped the feelings of guilt. Knowing he wasn't getting a spanking this time made things twice as bad. He was the one who jumped in the river and he was the one that didn't talk her out of it. He knew Jax's plan and he knew how dangerous it was, but he didn't care. He wanted an adventure and wanted to help his sister. Now listening to what had to be one of the worst whippings his sister had ever gotten, he didn't agree with his original assessment.

Joe breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't hear the belt fall again. At that second he realized that he was crying. He wiped his tears quickly as he heard his door open.

"You ok?" Adam asked.

"Yeah."

"Liar."

"I just feel really guilty about it," Joe said.

Adam smiled at his little brother and said,

"I think that was the point. Pa would've taken her to the barn if not."

"I'd rather get a thousand tannings than to hear her get one."

"Me too little brother me too."

Joe smiled and said,

"Then you better stop tanning her and while you're at it I wouldn't mind if you stopped tanning me too."

"In your dreams little brother, in your dreams. No matter how much I hate it or how much I wish I never had to do it, your safety and making you become the man I know you can be, will always make me take you over my knee."

A small tap interrupted their conversation.

"Pa wanted me to show you that I was still alive," Jax said smiling.

Adam held his arms open and she ran into them.

"How's your butt?" Joe teased.

"On fire, but I'll live," Jax said with a shrug, getting off her eldest brother's lap and hugging her twin.

"I'm sorry," Joe said.

"Why? My idea, my hide, right?"

Joe smiled again.

Ben walked in and asked,

"Where's Hoss?"

"Doing the twin's chores. I'll go get him."

Hoss and Adam walked in a few minutes later.

"Alright, there are some new rules around here. Jax and Little Joe you are both confined to your rooms until Little Joe's legs are better. Once that is finished, Little Joe you're with Hoss every waking minute. You are not allowed to work only watch. Jax, you're with Adam. You're not allowed to get off your horse or help either. If your brothers are too busy, you are either with me or back in your rooms."

"Yes sir."

"Now if either of you give your brothers problems you're in your room for two weeks after a sound tanning."

"How long Pa?" Adam asked.

"I haven't decided yet. I'll let you know."

**XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO **

Adam walked into his sister's room a few minutes before bedtime.

"Come here Jax," He said opening his arms.

"Are you mad, that you have to take me to work with you again?"

"Nope. I'm happy because I'm going to do what I should've in the first place."

"You're going to show how to do your job?"

"Yes, you don't get to do my job, but I promise to show you what it is I do every day and I promise once I'm sure you're ready I'll talk to Pa so you can gradually take on some responsibility."

"Thanks Adam."

"Oh and Jax, if you even think about doing more than I say, I'm going to make my whipping seem like a walk in the park and I promise that you will never ever leave this house again."

Jax just smiled and hugged him hard.

"Thanks Adam."

"You're welcome."

The End


End file.
